Eeny meeny miny moe, Catch a piglet by its toe, If it squeals let it go, Or you'll be arrested for animal abuse and receive a heavy fine.

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why did rhys jones get shot. because he was there

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How many lemurs does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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There is a really funny joke which can only be seen by smart people, it goes as such:

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Why do Vampires drink your blood? Because the movie maker needed a story

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- What do you call a black man who drives a bus? - An african american bus driver.

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You heard now that you can not only bet safe at net casinos, but also win safely? Win safely? The hell does that mean? You mean you could win unsafely before? Like the betting casino crashing after you win a million? Moral: That crap is even less moral than I am ffs! Now they give you like 5000 game bucks free just to get you addicted.

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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Pete and repeat are in a boat. Pete kills him self due chronic depression. Repeat laughs his ass off

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why was the little boy sad? because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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What's in a bag of dead babies? Dead babies and one alive baby eating it's way out.

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Why does the man have mayonaise in his pants? A: I don't know, I was hoping you could tell me.

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Why did the chicken fall down? Because it wanted to have fun

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So a magician was droving down the road and then he turned into a driveway!

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Knock Knock ...Does anybody know how to use a goddamn door bell these days?

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Roses are red Violets are blue You don't want to be my valintine I'm going to shoot myself.

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roses are red violets are blue my dick is long longer then you

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What do you get when you cross a cat and a dog? an email from PETA

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Obese penguin. It died of a heart attack.

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Why did the jew go to the doctors? Because he had a severe headache.

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How do you kill a lawyer? Stab him 50 times in the chest, slit him open and take all of his organs out one by one. Burn what you have left. That should do the trick. OMG I AM EVIL

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An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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