A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

thumb_up thumb_down +36

How many Druggies does it take to make toast. One.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Whats red, black and brown? My anus after a Friday night

thumb_up thumb_down +36

CNN has posted that the recent death of osama bin laden is comparable to decapitating a snake when really it is more akin to bisection of a worm.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What do you call a black guy that feeds children? A waiter

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Anti-jokes are funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What's the most confusing day in the ghetto? Fathers day.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What is worse than writing a really terrible joke on anti-joke.com? Death.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A man walks into a coffee shop and buys a bookshelf.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Yo mama's so fat, that she died from obesity.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Mommy, why did daddy leave? Because you touch yourself at night sweetie.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A doctor tells a guy: "I have bad news. You have Alzheimer's, and you have cancer." Guy says, "Thank God I don't have cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How do you stop a plane? Land it.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What's the difference between shoes and babies? You can't eat shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did the drunk man say to his wife? "I love you, Honey"

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How do you say the weekend in French? The weekend in French.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Where did the Smith family spend their weekend together? At the father's funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm What is worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Finding chuck norris Whats worse than finding your girlfriend has a bigger Slong than you? Getting raped with a cheese grater. Whats worse than all of these? Being black Sadly im black :( -Jordan M

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What do you call a concentration camp with a mental disability? Auschwistic.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What's worse than AIDS Nothing can possibly be worse than finding out you have AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +30

If Hellen Keller could meet Obama, what would she say? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why was lady crying? Because her ten yer old son died of cancer..

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

How many fingers do u have? 11 Start with left pinky count 10,9,8,7,6 then 6+5=11

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops