So God answered a paralyzed boy's prayer the other day...He said 'No'

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing.

What did I say to my mum this morning? Good morning.

What red and goes up and down? A tomato in an elevator.

Q: why was the baker a coward? A: his own mother told him his potential would amount to nothing more than a baker and when a dinosaur came into the bakery he ran away

What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm bad at poetry, ELEPHANTS!

Your mommas so dumb she had to climb a glass wall to see what was on the other side! But the glass was slippy so she never saw what was on the other side.

A man walks into a butchers and asks for a loaf of bread the butcher replies " no im a butcher" The man says " its ok my bikes outside"

How many dueche bags does it take to change a light bulb? 0 They're two complete unrelated things

A blonde a brunette and a ginger jump off a cliff they die upon impact and their families mourn for years to come.

Why didn't Fred answer his phone? Because Fred is a tree.

How do you make a plumer sad? You kill his children.

What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

How many Terry Pratchetts does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

If life gives you melons, you have dyslexia.

RECTUM? Damn near spelled "Wrecked Him" the wrong way!

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I have ADD Check out this flashlight!

There once was a man named bulagala moo moo boom chicka boom. Sometimes, when wipe the toilet tissue breaks and my fingers get all dirty. Good thing I have insurance!

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

A policeman walks into a pretzel shop. He sees two freshly baked pretzels. One was a salted.

Knock knock. Whos there? I am you dumbass im standing right next to you.

What is green and can hurt your eyes? I don't know, but its definitely not a laser pointer.

Why couldn't Billy see the show? Because Billy is blind.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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