Scream went into the bar. The bartender says," Why the long face?" "..." *facepalm*

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What did the deaf-blind kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream cone? Because she had no arms. Knock, Knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles their balls.

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Why is 13 the most hated number? 13 is Jewish.

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Why couldn't the blind man see his friend? He was behind him.

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Why couldnt dylan make it to mike's birthday party? He was killed instantly in a car crash on the way there.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being black

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What did the electron do after losing his proton? Trough electromagnetical forces, the electron simply left it's atom, making it become a positive ion. Then, atracted by other atom's magnetical force, it joins the other atom's last vallence shell, creating a negative ion, since there are more electrons then protons in the atom in issue.

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What's 8 foot tall and can't breathe? Ryan Eisenhour

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How can you ruin someone's day? Tell them their mother has cancer. No really, I found out my mom has cancer a week ago.

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Your mom is so fat, that last night after reading and edition of Cosmo, she skipped dinner and cried herself to sleep due to her inability to live up to such an unrealistic feminine stereotype.

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What do a mole and an eagle have in common? They both live underground apart from the eagle.

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Top 10 Signs You Might Be Lonely and in Need of a Friend 10. Your closest friend has a skull tattooed on his knuckles and goes by the nickname bruiser. 9. You are becoming a little too fond of chess and pocket protectors. 8. You parents complain that your friends are a "Pack of wild chickens"-and it's not a figure of speech. 7. You follow your mailman around in hopes of a good conversation. 6. A cop pulls you over for speeding, and you add him to your Chistmas card list. 5. Your equation for a snappy party = TV remote + bean dip. 4. You forward e-mail jokes to yourself regularly. 3. You six best friends are Monica, Chandler, Phoebe, Joey, Ross, and Rachel. 2. You've named all of your roaches. 1. Phone solicitors hang up on you!

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A man gets a new job working for his boss. The boss gives him more and more work and less pay. The man finely gets fed up, beats his boss in a fight, quits his job, and starts his own business. Historians later speculated that the man's life would serve as a perfect national allegory for the USA.

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What has a black, blue, and red all over? Timmy. He was mugged, and vigorously raped.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, others don't

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Your mother is so ugly, her genes were passed down through two generations, and now your children are of a similar caliber of ugliness. I'm so sorry.

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Why was the little boy afraid of the dentist because he was a pedophile

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What's worse than being a Jew in the Holocaust? Nothing.

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What's white and looks like paper? Paper

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Why didn't the boy eat his soup? It was to hot.

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so a horse walks into a bar and the bartender syas why the long face and the horse says naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

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Why did your girlfriend dump you? because someone brainwashed this guy into believing this nonsense.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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