whats up with that? i'm from jersy

What is white, black and blue all over? A zebra that was assaulted by Chuck Norris.

Did you hear about the blond that jumped off a bridge? She died.

why did the golfer ware two ares of paents. if he got a hole in one

Why did the chicken cross the road. grass was greener on the other side!

1: I heard a great knock knock joke, but you have to start it. 2: Okay, knock knock! 1: Who's there? 2: ???

Q: What did little Timmy get from his mother this Christmas? A: The contents of her will.

Why did the woman throw a stick of butter out her window? She was mentally unstable.

wats green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree, it would kill u? a pool table

How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one. Any more than that and they would just be getting in each others way.

Q: what did batman say to robin before they got into the car? A: get in the car (:

How many blondes does it take to replace a light bulb? Well, it depends if the person is blond or not. Also the person's age, as kids may not understand this proses at all.

Q: Why is asprin white? A: It works.

There's a football player who walks into a bar and sees a gay guy. The gay guy says, "So you're a football player, right?" The football player says, "Yes." The gay guy says, "I have a game of football myself. It's called fart football. It's where you drink a mug of beer in less than five seconds and then you drop your pants and fart for the extra point." The gay guy goes first. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds and farts. The football player goes. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds then he drops his pants and before he farts, the gay guy says, "BLOCK THAT KICK! BLOCK THAT KICK!"

Q: What did the donkey say to the man? A: "Hello there, sir." it was later discovered the man was tripping on the hallucinogen LSD. Later on the man plummeted to his death after being convinced that he was a pterodactyl, and jumping off of a cliff.

The last head of Satan, is oh but what you blamed upon Your faults, Your sins. The thoughts of Madness written here, yet potent enough to cloud Your thoughts.... Wait not forever children of man, as eternity is at its peak, the false prophet IS AMONGST US! But what side is he on? The last ditch attempt to protect humanity from a raging jealous vengeful God? Say it is not so! Say that darkness is not the only thing standing against you and eternal damnation... ...Yet you killed his only true child, you stole his name, his essence... Even his Identity... ...Even the Angels white are powerless to stop him, Your maker, Your true maker, for what is the grief of the holy, from which you took his only son... ...As you celebrate once and once anew... :...Merry CHRISTmas, to all of those of you all now left behind... Celebrate it well, as before the world reaches 2017, is where it all ends...

If bananas are purple, then what color are oranges? I am not going to tell you the answer because this joke has no significance whatsoever.

You the same as before? I am being a bit overly cautious I admit that, I would call you, the problem is that while you are either pretty good at pretending to be innocent and all, or actually pretty down to earth, I mean I would probably applaud you for tricking me into believing you are pretty sweet before, but I got my wife and her family to take care off now, its not quite the same getting stabbed in the back anymore,

Robin, get in the car!

What did the virulent Homophobe do during the PRIDE national day of silence? He talked

What's big and green and I gets stuck in your teeth will kill you? A tractor

What did the computer say to his girlfriend? I'm going to RAM you tonight.

Two lions are walking down the street. One lion says to the other, "where is everybody?"

q. a whale walks into a bar. The bartender asks"why are you wailling?" A. I my 3 year-old son died.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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