Yesterday I saw a blind man walking down the street, I asked if he needed help and he said "I'm fine thanks." Later on I saw a deaf man walking down the street and asked if he needed help. He didn't hear me, he then fell off the curb and was hit by a car.

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Why didn't the little boy wake up today? Because he's dead

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How long did it take Jeff, a middle-aged man with a lifelong speech-destroying lisp, to overcome his impediment? Less than ten minutes, as carbon monoxide is a colorless, odorless toxic gas that eliminates oxygen at a rapidly-acting rate inside of small areas such as the car Jeff locked himself inside.

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What happened to the chicken that crossed the road. It got hit by a fridge.

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The funniest thing happened in my dream last night, i dreamed that banks would stop ripping people off and start treating people like humans. How wierd is that :D

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why not?

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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What do you call a black man flying a plane ? - a pilot.

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Your momma is so fat, she should be concerned about her increased risk if a heart attack because of her poor eating habits.

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Why is my penis rainbow colored?

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what did joe eat for breakfast? he didn't eat, joe is schizophrenic steve's best friend

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what did the boy say to the over weight girl your fat

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what happend when the magic man touched fire? He got burnt screamed in my ear and died.

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a jew, a muslim and a christian all walk into a bar; because of the difference in religion im afraid such an event is unlikely to occur in the future.

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What happens when you put a baby in the microwave? I don't know, cause I was to busy jerking off.

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how do u make a snooker table laugh? TICKLE ITS BALLS HAHA

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What's the best part of having sex with twenty-four year olds? There's 20 of them.

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What did the duck say? Nothing. Everyone knows that ducks can't talk.

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what did jacob say to coach a joke

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Why did the little boy throw rocks at his sister? ...Because she has cancer.

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A man walks into a bar. It hurt.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, STDs are contagious. Careful who you screw!

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Why did the black man eat KFC? Because he got hungry.

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If it's mid-july and there are flying cows everywhere, how many bacons does it take to impregnate a spaghetti ? 3, because because vases can't swim in the dark.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops