Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He was perfectly happy where he was.

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A cyclist looses control in a race. How does he stop? Run into the spectators on the side of the road.

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How can you tell if someone is a global warming alarmist? Their IQ on average is 10 points below normal

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Miley Cyrus Walked into a fence and fainted.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Jehovah's Witness. Have you heard the word of God?

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Why did the woman make so many sandwiches? She was a mother catering for her child's sporting event.

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Me- hey hitler you lost soemthing. hitler- Vat? Me-world war two.

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What did the father say to his child Christmas morning? you're adopted

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how to you confuse a blonde you ask her to recit the alphahbet back words

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for the winter and now I am dead." Ha! It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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Ambition is like a frog sitting on a Venus Flytrap. The flytrap can bite and bite, but it won't bother the frog because it only has little tiny plant teeth. But some other stuff could happen and it could be like ambition.

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When faced with an impossible question. I like to give, and maybe receive, an impossible, yet endearing, request/answer to the problem. Sex?

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John: Knock Knock! Bill: Who's there John: John Bill: Oh hey John, come in

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What's great about taking a shower with a twelve year old girl. Pulling her hair back and making her look like a six year old

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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What do you call a girl with no legs? Disabled

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what did the little boy say to the man? Nothing because earlier that day his mom reminded him not to talk to strangers

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A man walks into a bar with a dog. The bartender says that there are no dogs allowed, but the man says that he is blind. So the man sits down with his dog and asks for a drink. The bartender decided to check to see if he was really blind, so he says, " Hey, do you know what time it is?" The blind man replies, "7 o'clock," The bartender says, "Ha! You said you were blind! Get out of..." but was interrupted by the man, who promptly said, "No, I'm deaf," and left.

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There once was a man from Peru, he couldn't fit into his shoe. He went to Brazil bought a big. Swallowed it and died.

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How many baby can u fit in a cup? A: it depends how strong ur blender is How do you get them out? A: tortilla chips

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What do you call a person who walks but doesn't run? A power walker What do you call a person who runs but doesn't walk? Someone running to the nearest bathroom holding there crotch.

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What do you call a child sitting alone in the back of a bus? Anti-social and on the verge of depression.

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What's Great and Danish? The Great Dane Kane.

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Q: If Elvis was alive today, what would he crave the most? A: Brains. Moral: BRAAAAAAAAAAAINS!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops