A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead become stranded on a desert island. As they are searching for food and shelter, they come across a mystical-looking lamp. They rub the lamp, but nothing happens because genies don't exist.

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what did the african man have for breakfast? Ebola cereal.

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What happens if you don't stop, drop, and roll? Astigmatism.

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What is a good remedy for the common cold? A piping hot bowl of chicken-noodle soup.

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What has many legs, but can't walk? A dead spider.

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Guess my favourite fruit. Peach.

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A man dressed as a woman gets hit in the nuts they fall to the ground in pain

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What happened to the little girl who fell into the lake? She was rescued and made a complete recovery.

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Well, I feel that I've stepped outside my comfort zone.

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Whats worse than 20 dead babies in a garbage can? A: The smell

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What did the coin said when it got flipped ? Nothing, coins do not have sufficient requirements to be able to talk like we humans do.

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How do you know when your sister's on her period? Your dad's dick tastes like blood

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A man accidentally chops his thumb off while preparing his dinner for the night. He immediately calls an ambulance and has his thumb preserved which is later reattached back onto his hand. He then continues his dream career as a solo pianist.

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why did the pancake eat a spanish holiday? Because a plane crashed into his condominium

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what do you call when a penis is inside a vagina? sex

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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One day a young gentleman was walking down the street. He sees a wounded dog laying there on the sidewalk. He goes to tend to the wounded animal. It bites his hand. He rushes to the hospital and tests positive for rabies. The man has to be vaccinated and the dog terminated.

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Why did Maggie shit herself? Because she saw her son.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bigger worm in your apple.

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have u seen helen kellers dad? A: neither has she

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Wanna know my life in a nutshell? Well you can't. Life is an inanimate object an will therefore not fit inside anything, let alone a nutshell.

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roses are blue violets are red... i have to use the bathroom

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knock,knock you suck

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops