A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

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What do you call two black men walking down a stairwell? Their names.

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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one day there was an ugly barnicle. he was SSSOOO ugly that everyone died the end -patrick

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A blind man walks into a bar. The next day he goes out and buys a new seeing eye dog.

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what's round, hairy, has eight legs- but isn't a spider? A spider.

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Yo mumma so poor that she dosent have any money

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what smells like red paint, looks like red paint and is called red paint? A pear, i lied about everything i just said

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Me: Mike Mike: Yeah Me: The more you breath the more pissed off im getting.

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Why did Justin Beiber cut his hair It had grown to long

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The next sentence is true. The previous statement is false.

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You're so fake, Barbara Millicent Roberts is jealous of you.

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why is there art classes so people can make beautiful pieces of art :)

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A: Ask me if I am an Orange. B: "Are you an Orange?" A: No.

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Q. How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? A. Who knows? It's dark!

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why did sally fall off a swing she had no arms knock knock who's there not sally

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What did the lesbian say to the hot dog? "nice to MEAT you" get it the hot dog is made of meat!

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Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse then two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse then the holocaust? Three bee stings.

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A rat and a pig rape a puppy. Hey, that's just life.

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Q: Why do circles make such good friends? A: They don't. They're shapes and there cannot have friends

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Mr. Krabs lives in bikini bottom (pinch pinch)

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Where can you find the best black man soup? I don't know. Cannibilism is no longer socially acceptable.

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whats the difference between boyscouts and a jew? boyscouts come back from camp.

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Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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