Roses are red Violets are red Your flowers are red Yes set your garden on fire

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Why did the robber wear a mask? Because he had eczema.

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What come after 69? Time for you to get a watch

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Why did the duck eat the fish? It needed protein.

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Teacher: Why didn't you do your homework? Student: My friends told me not to. Teacher: So if your friends tell you to go jump off a bridge, would you do it? Student: Well, it all depends on if I land on a fat kid. Like Chubb. Chubb: Yeah, I know, my eating habit, i-i-its a big problem. -Payden R.

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Q: What Would Canada Be With out Nature A: Peru

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Why did the girl go to the hospital? Her brother dared her to jump off the second story roof of their house...

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Why did George Bush climb the Statue of Liberty? I'm not sure, as this incident is not covered in any of the myriad books written about his administration.

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A chicken crossed the road and the farmer said, "Where the hell is that chicken going!?"

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because I took a swing at it with a golf club.

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what do you call a black guy african american

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What do you call black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist bastard

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Why was the man shot in the head twice? He wasn't because he died after the first and it is nearly impossible to survive a gunshot to the head.

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a man walked into a bar he had no recollection of entering the bar so he exited the bar

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What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a girl? Consensual sexual intercourse between two young adults.

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Q: whats worse than finding a worm in your apple A: the holocaust

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Why did Suzie fall out of her swing? Because she had no arms.

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BTMG JOAN!"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TOP OF THE MORNING FREE MEAT NO SANTA THIS YEAR BONE FOUNDATIONS MOUNTNORRIS WHY IS THAT BAG MOVING?????????? MR MO MOLESTOR SHIT STAINS VEGETABLE GUN OPERATION SBB OPERATION SBB (THE AFTERMATH) #SL #NSL TIN SCHACK SKI LIFT MILK STAINS NATHAN: 5 - SEATS: 0 GREEK LETTER STU THE SO

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Jesse gets back at people who takes his job, by trying to get with their sloppy seconds.. Emphasize trying.

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Q: Whats the worst thing to drop in a prison shower? A: An exploding nail gun

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what did the black guy say to the white guy im black

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Why did suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not suzie!!

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A blonde walks into a bar therefore her face hurts

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A man walks into a bar and orders four shots. Before the bartender asks "If it really is that bad of a day". The man says "Yea I need this shit". The next day the bar is overwhelmed with police and investigators. The bartender had emptied a revolver in the tired business man's face and vanished.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops