knock knock who`s there me oh come in

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Customer Service "May I help you?" "Yes."

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How many Dead Babies does it take fill a phone booth? There is an obvious epidemic going around causing millions of babies to die. This is no laughing matter and the mothers of these babies are probably going through therapy to get over their lost.

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An Irishman walked into a bar, except he would call it a pub, because there are slight differences in vocabulary in different regions, 37 minutes later he walked home safely, fed his cat, read some pages of a book he had been reading, turned the light off and went to bed.

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What's small and doesn't turn girls on? A bottlecap.

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Why did Justin Beiber cut his hair It had grown to long

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The next person to submit a 'roses are red' 'joke', is cursed to always prematurely ejaculate from here until eternity

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What is worse than mistaking a bottle of blood for ketchup? Mistaking a bottle of "sticky white stuff" for milk... Moral: If you are a straight man that is... As for women meh... lie all you want ladies...

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Did u think that last joke was funny? Well this one isnt

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Orange. Orange Who? No, this is Homeland Security. We have raised the current terrorism threat level to Orange, which means there is a high risk of terrorist attacks. Please report any suspicious behavior.

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what does nba stand for? Nothing but Africans

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's blind and deaf, any situation with her in the drivers seat of a car would have serious implications.

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what is orange? an orange

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what happens when an Asian and a Jew get married. They have children.

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Waitress: Would you like to have a drink? Customer: (Looks at the drink's menu) Hmmmm... What are my choices? Waitress: Yes and no.

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Who looks like Bill Cosby, Smells like Bill Cosby, But isn't Bill Cosby? An imposter who should be sent to jail.

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why was 6 afraid of seven? cause 7's a n i g g a

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A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar and the bartender says: "Where would you like to sit, gentlemen"?

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Q: How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? A: This question has many different possible answers due to the range of sizes and shapes of bath tubs available on the market, and also depending on the size of the baby in question. It is therefore only possible to give a specific example.

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Your mom showed up at my house last night. I kindly greeted her and asked if I could help her with anything.

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A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.?

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? The Holocaust No, the Holocaust never even happened, you're an idiot.

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A husband and a wife were having a conversation: Woman: Why is the baby on fire? Man: I dont know. Woman: BUY ME SHOES!!!!!!

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Guy 1: Ask me if I have a banana in my ear. Guy 2: Do you have a banana in your ear? Guy 1: Sorry I can't hear you I have a banana in my ear

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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