A fully grown cow walks into a man's house and says to him, "Hey, how have you been?" Traumatized by the vivid circumstances, the man falls to the floor and begins sobbing relentlessly until he passes out onto the floor from a violent mental breakdown.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Q: Why are Cats called Lolcat? A: They forgot to put "i" between l & c

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call it when you see a black man break his arm? There isn't really any name but I suggest he seeks medical attention.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's the difference between an iPhone and a Samsung Galaxy? Google it, there are many differences.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Where is Sally hiding? She was kidnapped and has probably been murdered, I lied about her hiding.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are pink Daisys are white

thumb_up thumb_down +22

what do you call a Nice Nazi A Nazi... He's still a Nazi.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did my car stop suddenly? I had arrived at my appropriate destination.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: How do you count the population of Mexico? A: Take a census.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Do you want to hear a joke?!?!?!?!?!?! A happy orphan

thumb_up thumb_down +22

knock knock go away

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Ferrari? I ain't got a Ferrari in my car.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call two black men riding on a tandem bicycle? Best friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Shltskc gw? G

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A pool table

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did Harry get for his Birthday? Nothing nobody likes Harry.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A boy and a girl are each granted a wish Girl: I want us to be lovers until the end of the world Boy: I want the world to end

thumb_up thumb_down +20

a horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?", the horse incapable of understanding the English language promptly shits on the floor and eats a bar stool.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Who enslaves small people and forces them to work in his factory all year round in ridiculous outfits. Santa

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What does a black man and a monkey have in common? Until February 3rd 1870 neither could vote in America. Monkeys still can't. 

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops