How does Justin Bieber remove a condom? he farts

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How do you tell if a kitten is alive? Throw it at the wall.

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-What's funnier than a dog with no legs? -The movie Dumb and Dumber, in my opinion.

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Yo mama's so poor, she doesn't have a lot of money.

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Why was a white man mowing his lawn ? The lawn was getting undesirably long which provoked the white man.

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Why can't Ray Charles drive? Because he's dead.

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Sometimes i like to stand on my chair and pretend that i am a carrot.

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How did the deaf girl die? I beeped but she didnt hear me

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Click here for free sandwich.

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why did the girl fall of her bike She had no arms

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* Why is this dog barking? * Because he's a dog, if he were a cat it would meow.

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Why does the girl get humped by a pig? Because she has sexual needs and no other more attractive animal, including an human wants to hump her.

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar, the bartender says ouch.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Super Monkey Ball Deluxe. Super Monkey Ball Deluxe who? Oh no.

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Q. Why doesn't a woman need a wrist watch? A. Because they're actually becoming generally obsolete with the advent of the cell phone.

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you know whats funny?! nine eleven!

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? Just in case he gets a hole in one! -LEts Go Mets P.S the comment below is also very stupid

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why was smokey bear sad? he got cancer from smokeing

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Why did the man cross the street? He just wanted to .. i don't see why not, i mean he could have gotten ran over by a train on a road but who knows he could have been run over by a turtle!

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whats every colour and loved by everyone Mario

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Did you know that there is a species of rodent capable of jumping higher than an average three-story building? This is due to its muscular hind legs and the fact that the average three-story building cannot jump.

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Knock Knock! It's me! Hello? Hello! Why didn't they answer him? He was at the desert, with a disconnected phone. Also, my Captcha for this is "lose face" Good job solf mediya

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Why was the chair spinning Cause it wants to

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Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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