roses are red tulips are too, violets are violet, not freaking blue.

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"Sticks and stones" the man said and shat on three different complex turtles

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patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

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What's the best part of twenty one year old's? Their bodies have matured enough that the U.S. government deems it safe for them to consume alcoholic beverages with proper I.D.

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that awkward moment when there is no candy in the van.....

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What's hard, long and screws a blond? An IQ test.

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I obviusly meant: Have you ever seen a cow chasing boots? Because the one with the cowboy chasing boots doesn't make sense...

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Why didn't Hitler go to heaven? He killed millions of jews and was an atheist.

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Q: What the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies A: I don't have a Porsche in my garage

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Jim: You wanna hear a funny joke? Tim: Sure Jim: Well, if you want a funny joke, this isn't the place to be.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a bad chicken and it burned in hell.

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What did batman say to robin before they got into the batmobile? Get in the batmobile.

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I'm going as the joker for halloween

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Your momma is so fat, she doesn't have a birthday. She has a birthweek.

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whats shaped like a tree. A tree.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says 'Why the long face?' The horse says 'My alcoholism is destroying my family.'

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How many seals does it take to unscrew a lightbulb? Depends on how high the ceiling is.

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Ever heard nobobys perfect well ill name my kid nobody therefore he will perfect

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Q: Why is grass green? A: I painted it.

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How can you tell if your wife is dead? She won't have a pulse.

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Your mom is so fat she probably has a body mass index of between 25 and 30 which is considered to be "overweight" but paradoxically is associated with fewer health risks by medical professionals.

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yo momma!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

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There's a black and a mexican guy in a car. Who's driving? The chauffeur.

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So I'm balls deep in this 9 year old...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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