Q. What did the girl on drugs get for Easter? A. Down Syndromes Disease.

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If I had a dollar for every time I heard a 'women's rights' joke I'd be bill gates.

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar answer his cell phone? Because he's DEAD.

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Whats black, dead, and hangs from a tree in my backyard? Your Mom

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Ok

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Why couldn't the bunny hop? Because it lost both it's legs

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the next time someone says "yolo" im going to pull out my shotgun and reply "sadly..."

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How Do You Solve A Impossible Math Question? You Dont. cause its impossible.

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??????????? ??????????????? "Hello, idiot teacher! You eat milk."

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Who is the best person to do your nails with? Nobody, you have no friends.

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What happens when you cut a body in half? An erection.

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There was once a man named Larry. Larry was an office worker for a paper company. One day when Larry was counting papers he got a papercut on his left hand. Therefore his finger began to bleed as he sat in agony. What did Larry do next? He got up and got a band-aid. Larry continued his paper work at his desk.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Bushes are red, Oh shit, my garden is on fire

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: WHERE'S MY TRACTOR?!

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Why'd the bird in Ohio fall out of its nest? There was a squirrel that was eaten by a large eagle. The eagle then flew to Ohio and died. Then, a large dog grabbed the Eagles corpse and brought it to his owner. The owner then decided to have it for dinner. Inside the eagle, he found the squirrels bones. He put the bones in a catapult, and sent them flying. The bones hit a car and the car slipped off the road and into a river. Then, a whale put the car on its back and swam to the shore. At the shore, the whale got stranded and sadly died. Crabs surrounded the whale and ate it. One crab then ran away and up a tree. It found a stapler and a rubber dinosaur mask and gave it to a chipmunk. The chipmunk climbed up the tree, stapled nuts into the birds eyes and stapled the rubber dinosaur mask to its face, the bird got scared, and then all of the sudden the chipmunk stapled itself to the birds back. The birds family then came and shoved the two out of the tree because they hated chipmunks, and their son Timmy the bird was a disappointment. The bird and the chipmunk fell and died. That is why the bird fell.

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Why could the red heading boy sing higher notes than the blonde headed boy? He was castrated at birth.

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Your momma is so ugly that when she stepped on the mirror, it broke.

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Who looks like Justin bieber, and is really cool? Justin Bieber, but I lied about him being cool.

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View Terms of Service

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What did the fat man say to everyone? Hey everyone! I am i fat man!

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Your momma's so fat that she should really be concerned for her health and seek professional help to manage her weight.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I have ADD Check out this flashlight!

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Justin's life

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What do an airplane and a grape have in common? They both have wings, except the grape.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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