What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? The lawyer is a human being whose profession is to give legal advice and assistance to clients and represent them in court or in other legal matters while the catfish is a freshwater or marine fish with whiskerlike barbels around the mouth, typically bottom-dwelling. -BG_Shank_A

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One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Physics. Why did Tommy fall of his bike? He was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator.

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What do you call white trash Garbage

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How many Ringmasters does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They tell the clowns to do it

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What did the penis say to the condom? Cover me i'm going in.

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Whats brown and sticky? - A brown stick.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Don't matter what you call him he ain't gonna come.

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how much kush does it take to get kushagra high

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Knock knock. Who's there? Tim. Tim who? Tim Smith.

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What's worst than getting hit by a car. -Getting hit by a truck.

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What would make African women very happy? food and healthcare for their kids, and a proper education.

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Why did the mother stop breastfeeding her son? Because he was twenty five.

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Whats worse then walking into a door? getting shot in the head by a 10ft squirrel holding 44.magnum and a slice of cheese in the other

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Q: Why was six afraid of seven? A: seven raped six's mom

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why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was scary.. made by Kevin Kool

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Three midgets walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer, the second one orders whiskey, and the third one ordered water because all three of them had agreed that he would be the designated driver that night.

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One.

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A man walks into a bar. He hits his head and dies.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it is an animal without a high enough level of intelligence to see the dangers in doing so.

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I like my women how I like my coffee; without a penis.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Smell mop. Smell mop who? (smell my poo)

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Joker: Knock knock Batman: Who's there Joker: Not your parents

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Who is the best person to do your nails with? Nobody, you have no friends.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops