Thank you very much for being so kind to me throughout the years. I have never known a better man. Rest in peace.

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knock knock. Who is there? You have. You have who? Your entire family in my basement.

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What do a spoon and a platypus have in common? Nothing.

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Two people are sitting on a 10th story window sill. They both fall off and die.

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What do you do if a bird shuts on your windscreen? A:never take her out again.

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Your mother is so fat.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was mentally retarded and didnt know any better.

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What did the horse say to it's owner? It didn't horses can't talk

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why was 6 afraid of 7? because he raped her

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What's better than rape? Consensual sex.

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A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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What do you call a black man who lands on the moon? An astronaut...f*cking racist.

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whats the meaning of stonehenge? ask the ones that built it!

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There once was a girl with only one buttcheek. She couldn't go poop. She died.

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What types of animals are the most dangerous? Dangerous ones.

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- Wanna see a magic trick? - Sure - Too bad. I don't know any.

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MOTHER OF GOD! Someone get this horse out of here!

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Your momma soo fat.... that if she doesnt start exercising and eating right she will be more likely to get adult onset diabetes.

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What did the one alcoholic say to the other? We are both alcoholics

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roses are blue viloets are red this poem doesnt make sense microwave

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what's the difference between northerners and southerners? southerners live to the south of birmingham, and they don,t stink of urine.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I suck at poetry. Nice tits.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops