Hobos are like Obama they want change.

How did the blind man end up in the hospital? He didnt see the bus coming.

What do you call a rollercoaster without a coaster? A roller

roses are red violets are blue they really are

The kid next door was running around shouting spells and carrying a wand. ''I bet you'd love to be like Harry Potter!'' I told him. ''Yes!'' he exclaimed. So I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

Why was Helen Keller deaf, blind, and a woman? She was a bad driver.

There's a elf ,a peice of paper, and a pencil. What happens next? The elf writes on the paper.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: he was sucidal because his kids hate him and his wife cheated on him.

Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero? Because it is impossible, the answer is undefined.

what's better than being stabbed in the testicles with a biro? the Silversun Pickup's album Neck of the Woods

What does it mean if you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars? You both have five dollars

BF:Roses r red Violets r blue a face like ur's shuld b i n the zoo but dont worry i'll be there but not in the cage but laughing at u. GF:Wanna c a magic trick? POOF ur single

What is Hellen Keller's favorite TV show? She doesn't have one - She is blind and deaf.

Your momma's so fat that she contracted type 2 diabetes and died at a young age because obesity is a huge problem in America.

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "We are both lawyers."

Situation: 2 cows eating grass on a warm Sunday night. Question: Why does 9+4=3 1/2? Answer: 69!

Roses are cheap Violets are on sale It's Boxing Day Please buy my flowers I really need the cash.

Women's rights

Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, most likely nobody

Once there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

Why can't antelopes fly? Because they can't

Im 8 years old, sometimes I get sick, and I take medicine and it makes me feel better. My daughter has cancer.

What did all of the blind children sing on the bus ride? Nothing because they drove off a cliff

As we had been trying for some months now, I called my wife to ask her the result of her pregnancy test. A stranger answered and promptly told me she was killed in a car crash.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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