Q. Why did the chick go to KFC? A. To visit his mother

If you want to make the little things count, teach midgets maths!

Q-Why did the man fall out of the behemoth A- he had no legs

What is the best joke ever? 1D

Two People go To Africa They have a lovely time they come home then go to Miami Florida after Florida they decide to go to germany sadly there was a plane crash and the two men fell into a pit of acid.

Why did they bury the firefighter behind the hill? Because he was dead.

Why didn't the dog come to his master when it was called? It didn't have any legs.

How do you get a drummer off your doorstep? Ask politely.

Knock knock Who's there? The Gestapo. Get in the van.

A black man texts his wife to tell her that he is going to be late coming home from work.....Just kidding, pay phones cannot send text messages.

A: How do you piss off a female pilot? Q: Kill her family

Whats round and bouncy? A bouncy ball

There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

what's the best way to get your younger sibling to stop being annoying? Shoot Him

How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One to drop it and die of gas poisoning.

How do you fix a chimpanzee? With a monkey wrench

What's funnier than 9/11? Nothing. 9/11 wasn't funny. It was a terrible tragedy, the most tragic in U.S. history. If you think that is funny you are a sick person. By: Logan in South Dakota

Why did the chicken cross the traffic filled road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? Chicken delivery.

why was the woman in the kitchen? because societal standards placed her in such a situation

You know those people that learned the true name of God, as God asked kindly... ...Well you know God can be nice sometimes but he actually COMMANDED they keep his name secret forever? They became the first people known as Jehova`s witnesses... JEHOVAH<<< SECRET NAME ANYBODY? So much for keeping his secret name guys! They claim that only a few thousand humans will ascend to heaven, in other words all of the JEHOVA`s witnesses... All two billions of them or something... For keeping his name (Cough JEHOVAH) secret. SUCCESS!

Thank you, you remind me that I am not insane, just because I believe we humans can accomplish more, by uniting as one, rather than fighting one another. I feel as if I belong somewhere else, yet the question remains always, are people such as you better, or are we relics from the past?

whats worst than finding a worm in your apple???? an apple in your worm.

What do you call an blonde, brunette, and a redhead? There has yet to be a definition for a group of people categorized by hair color.

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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