Were you born on a freeway? because thats were all accidents happen.

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What's Blue And Fat? A Brick. I like to lie a lot.

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teacher: who's going to pass english? students: us teacher: not you, i lied about the passing

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Life is like a bridge. You get walked on all your life until you fall apart.

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Why do children go to school? Because they have to learn.

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Why did the man cry? Because his mom died in a terrible car accident.

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What's up? Up Adverb: Toward the sky or a higher position. Preposition: From a lower to a higher point on (something); upward along: "I climbed up a flight of steps". Adjective: Directed or moving toward a higher place or position: "the up escalator". Noun: A period of good fortune. Verb: Do something abruptly or boldly: "she upped and left him". Synonyms: adverb. upward - upwards - aloft - above - upstairs - overhead preposition. on - upon - over - along - with adjective. rising noun. ascent - rise - upgrade verb. raise - enhance - increase - lift - rise

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Is it better to be born black or gay? No way to know. That is, unless you are black and gay.

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What did the old man get for Christmas? He forgot because he has alzheimer's

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I dont often wash my hands in the bathroom but when i do its so people dont think im gross.

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Gladly, you sound very confident, makes me happy. Well, doctors thought I had ADHD (go figure) but I am pretty calm outside the internet, then they went with ADD, but since my attention is twofold, this meaning that I can get a lecture, while noticing a toothpick falling on the other side of the room (noticing as in perceiving with focus not necessarily listening but you know, seeing from the corner of ones eye) Yet still focus well enough to get the lecture in details. So its not split focus such as in ADD, but dual, as in me being able to think about two things at once, but also burning out extremely fast, which again, is far from ADD.

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Why did the horse escape from his stable? He didn't. He stayed there all night and his owner took him out the next day as the weather was beautiful.

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Why don't you hit a black guy riding a bike? Because that is dangerous and he could get hurt.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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What did the scuba diver say to his partner when he got stuck in some seaweed. Something that sort of sounded like glug, or maybe blub, or some other sound you would hear trying to talk underwater.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the farmer that was trying to kill it.

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A blonde drank an entire fruit smoothie in one sitting. She got a brain freeze.

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Two People go To Africa They have a lovely time they come home then go to Miami Florida after Florida they decide to go to germany sadly there was a plane crash and the two men fell into a pit of acid.

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roses are red violets are blue they really are

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Did you hear the one about the girl who had three nipples? Neither did I.

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What do you do when the Cubs win the world series? Turn the xbox off and go to bed.

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Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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What benefits came from the September 11th attacks? None. It was one of the most horrific tragedies in American History

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once i was a dog and u were a flower........... i raised my leg and gave u a shower :)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops