Two reporters walk into Tah rir Square. Both are abused and that's sad.

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how doyou wake up lady gaga youu poke er face

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what do u call a turtle with no shell? Larry

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What is white but you can't see it? A bottle of milk around the corner.

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How do you stop an ice cream headache? Run in front of a bus.

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What's big, red and delicious? A prune. I lied about it being big, red and delicious.

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John has 32 candy bars. He eats 28. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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walk into your friend’s house and say “what’s up with the dead guy out front?” (you have to murder a person for this joke to work)

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A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

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There once lived a man in Peru. He lived in a small apartment then died of kidney failure.

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Is your refridgerator running? good, because if it wasn't then your food would spoil.

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Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

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What's worse than finding out your friend is gay? Being gang-raped.

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Roses are *yanks hair* Violets are *yanks hair* *sobs and yanks hair* I have tricolomania

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a boy with asperges asked me a question today he asked me again and again because he has asperges

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Its behind you like if you looked behind

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Q: One little blond girl went walking on her own. A: 17 didn't come back.

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A: Rock! B:Paper! C: Siccorz! D: Shoot! D: Jimmy, you alright buddy? I didn't mean for that bullet to hit you man..

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what happens when you throw a green rock into a yellow pond. it makes a spash.

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Why was the man's foot hurting? Because he was being fed into a wood chipper

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What is the sound of one hand clapping? I don't know you have a hand try it yourself lazy prick.

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What do a baby and popcorn have in common? They both pop in an explosive manner when put in a microwave and both can be consumed by the person who may have put the baby and popcorn in it so if you think this is funny then you have some problems and i will shortly in some period of time when my schedule is cleared refer you to a licensed psychologist and we will make an appointment for you.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? 6 million, 1 to screw it in, and 5,999,999 to die in the holocaust.

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Why did the mushroom go to the party? Cause he was invited.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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