your mom is so fat she is at high risk of a future heart attack and should be taken to a cardiologist

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the chinese doctor get fired? Because he was involved in a malpractice suit.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Knock knock Who's there? Mike Mike who? Mike Davis from across the street. Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q:the is a mexican and a black guy in the car who id driving? A:the cop

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What would a man say if you urinated all over his legs? WHAT THE DEUCE?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I'm colorblind.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

John's life hasn't been the same since committing suicide 13 years ago.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock -Who's there Not Sarah

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A duck walks into a bar and says, "Put it on my bill"

thumb_up thumb_down -16

roses are blue violets are red heres a gun now your dead

thumb_up thumb_down -16

There are two muffins in the oven. The first says to the other, "Its getting hot in here." The second, befuddled, replies, "AHH! A talking muffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the cops beat up rodney king? Resisting arrest.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

It is wrong to strip a homeless man of his clothes and chew his face off. Note to self: Explain this to someone before they have taken bath salts.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Whats long,hard, and has c.u.m in ig? Cucumber....also my wiener

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what did eric foreman get for christmas? a foot in his ass.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A man walks into a bar He wakes up from his coma 21 years later and learns that humans now serve pumpkins as gods.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q: Why did the little boy fall off the swing? A: Because he was hit by a bus, and then was raped violently. He is currently undergoing psychotherapy.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

why did the cow cross the road because he wanted to go to the mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooove

thumb_up thumb_down -16

why did the jew cross the road? He didnt. He got stuck in the wire fence.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q. What's cold and has no feelings? A. A pole

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's purple, green, and orange? Dead baby with slashed floaties. What's black, purple, and orange? Same baby two weeks later.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops