Two men walk into a bar. You would think at least one of them would've seen it.

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Three french men are in the car wearing sombreros. They're trying to get to Disney World.

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A priest, a rabbi and a shaman walk into a bar. Except there is no rabbi and there is no shaman and the bar is actually my 8th birthday party priest is molesting me. And the priest is my dad. My dad molested me. A lot...

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A black man a white man and an asian man walk into a bar have a few drinks and on thier drive home run over a three year old little girl and here to month old sister and they go to prison for the rest of thier lives (they shouldn't of let the asian drive)

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Find the b dddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd

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What's the difference between cat and a watermelon? One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer. The other is a watermelon.

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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Today I went to the grocery store. I purchased milk, eggs, orange juice, and my favorite breakfast cereal for $18.73. I subsequently got into my sedan and drove home.

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Q. What did the 300 pound Asian get for Valentine's day A. A jetpack. Except for the fact that the previous sentence was an obvious lie making this whole joke irrelevant.

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Q: How do Hellen Keller's parents punish her? A: They give her a timeout

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anus

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple this joke.

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Why do cats have nine lives? Because they don't have ten.

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Your mother is so fat, we needs two fat jokes to adequatly make fun of her.

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A man walks into a bar, muttering to himself. People stare at him because his severe Schizophrenia makes him stand out in social situations.

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This sentence will not end the way you octopus.

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Q: whats red, spins, and screams? A: a baby in a blender

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Ich bin nicht der Anführer

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How do you make an onion cry? Kill the chef.

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Why did the chicken cross the road .... The traffic light turned red

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Anti-Joke.com Post anonymously with no editing!

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead are best friends and go shopping together.

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The optimist sees the glass as half full. The pessimist sees the glass as half empty. The average American sees a half-finished glass of water that is not flavored and is therefore is not worth any reasonable person's time.

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Why did the man commit suicide? He was depressed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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