Q:Why did the old man die? A:Because he had Cancer in his hole body.

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I'm Andrew Schmitt

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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You heard now that you can not only bet safe at net casinos, but also win safely? Win safely? The hell does that mean? You mean you could win unsafely before? Like the betting casino crashing after you win a million? Moral: That crap is even less moral than I am ffs! Now they give you like 5000 game bucks free just to get you addicted.

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What's yellow and talks? A talking giraffe.

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whats gay and american? a gay american

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Why did the weiner dog that punctured Doris' bladder get carried away during an oral sex session? Because the dog had a terribly troubled childhood which led to a faliure to adequately function in adulthood

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Why did a jew die? It got killed by a nazi.

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whats fat round and mentally special? PeterPanMyHero!

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Q: Why is little Timmy living without his parents? A: He is ninety seven years old!

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Yo mama's so fat that when she went to go get an x-ray, they had to use the one they have at the zoo.

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what did the little boy get for christmas? nothing his parents stuck him in a mental ward to forget about him because he was mentally challenged.

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Why was the road crossed by the chicken? Because as an animal, incapable of understanding human languages and consequently lacking in education, it was unable to understand the convention of not using the passive voice in English prose writing.

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what is Rebecca black's favorite restaurant? Ruby Tuesdays

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Q. What happened to the man that kept an open hand? A. He is in jail because he beat his family

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A man walks into a bar. Sup.

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Do you know what lmnop is? No. A group of five consecutive letters.

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what do u call a gay guy? Marlin Stein and Bryan Carboni

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Why did the boy fall asleep in class? He was tired.

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What was the only reason a ginger ever won in a fight? It was against a Dementor.

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What do you call a blue colored dog with seven legs, that oinks? not a dog...

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Mine.

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Why cant Joe drive his tractor? Because he doesn't have any arms or legs. Why doesn't Joe have any arms or legs? BECAUSE JOE IS A POTATO.

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why wont our kids have time to socialize? because theyll all be too busy trying to find a solution for global warming.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops