What kind of ship never sinks? Not the Titanic.

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Why did the white woman press charges against the black guy? Because he raped her

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What's worse than a bug in your soup? Getting shot in the stomach.

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Q:How do you get better at boxing? A:Get a bigger package Daniel W. Schnurr

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A: What's that on your shoulder? B: A birthmark. A: How long have you had it? B: Don't know.

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Who, what, when, why, how, where, and which? Your Honor, i think my client would like to plead guilty.

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What's worse than getting dumped? Heart Failure.

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a Guinness.

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What do you call an giraffe? Well, you should probably call it a giraffe if you want people to think you are literate and know your grammar.

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I hate it when people dont finish there sen

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Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

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Why was the Asian terrible at driving? He was drunk.

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What do Michael Jordan and Michael Jackson have in common? The same first name.

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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How did the man die? He was killed alive.

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A black man walks down a high street and sees a white woman approaching. He bids her good day and they carry on their respective journeys. He then turns around and follows the white woman and rapes her in a dark alleyway, because as we all know, all black men are rapists.

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Whats the difference between a nigro and a nigro... They are both BLACK!

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why can't Michael Jackson bake a pie???? Because he's dead

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The awkard moment when you realize you either have cancer, are pregnant, or a combination of the two.

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What is the leading cause of death? - Dying.

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i'm here at a school my friend is eats a pool fuck yeh

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A horse walks into the bar. The bartender asks "why the long face" Turns out the horse's family died that evening.

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asdasdasdasd

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do you know what happened to the bravest warrior in the battle who got stabbed in the foot while trying to rescue puppies from a burning building and dying children? well he took the children and puppies home, and ate them. then the SWAT came in and killed him. so yeah... oh... suck my a s s barf

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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