The Minnesota Vikings won a game.

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Why was the old man lying on the floor? He had a heart attack and died

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hello? knock knock. you called me, why are you saying knock knock?

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Ps: Its "Cain" again, just for matters of security here, how did he install power wires under the basement? How are you even able to use your computer over there?

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why is 6 scared of 7? because 7 eight 9

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why was the girl unhappy? because she was stapled to a shark.

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What's sad about a guy jumping off a cliff? The cliff.

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This ones for the dudes: Whats worse then having sex with a woman with no penis? Having se with a man

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Take one: "What kind of assho... Take two "What kind of awesome people with no dignit..." Take three: "What kind of awesome people with most dignified self image would use this piece of shit s... Final take What kind of awesome people with most dinified self image would use this RETARDED PIECE OF MOLTEN SHlT SITE FROM FUCKING HELL?" Moral: "Technically I do not use it, I abuse it just like I did your mom... Hey, I am your dad by the way, that gives me the right to rape you whenever I want" NeroMetal I once fisted a velociraptor to death (I do not mean punching it in the face here if you think thats something), but that's not metal... I cant for the fuck bother to find out how to spell the fucking dinosaurs name... Now that is metal...

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A man falls out of a boat. What happens next? Well, you would think he'd know how to swim, but due to his alzheimer's he didn't, so he drowned.

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Q. Why did the teacher trip and fall? A. Because his left foot was gnawed off by a camel, and he often finds it difficult to walk.

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why was the fork in the wall? Why would a fork be in a wall?

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Q:What's black and white and red all over? A: An interracial couple in a car crash.

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Why did the frog die? Because I stapled it onto a boy's face.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? The eventual extinction of humanity, followed by the death of the universe.

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What did one alien say to another alien? I miss Mexico.

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What is a frogs favorite drink? Water.

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What doesn't kill you leaves you in a coma.

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How did the newborn baby come out of a man? It was ejaculated as a sperm from his testicles

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Why did Zayne have no friends? Because he is retarded.

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Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius.

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Why did the man with no arms fall of his bike? Someone threw a washing machine at him

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What do you call a Mexican that sails a ship? A sailor

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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