How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?  The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that :  L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

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why did the chicken cross the road? Because there were no traffic.

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Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

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Midgets' mouths are perfect height for, kissing other midgets.

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Why didn't the boy answer the phone when it was ringing? Because he had no arms to pick it up.

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Bin laden walks into a bar oh wait he's dead.

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what do a heater and a dead baby have in common? a dead baby is only warm for a small period of time

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One day, Jimmy didn't wake up.

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Why didnt the teenager have a smartphone? He didnt live close to a cell phone store

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What is the difference between Chuck Norris and a frog one wears pants and the Chuck Norris doesn't.

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What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? Fuck.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree Because it died

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a blind man walks down the street and trips on an unsuspecting curb he scraped his knee

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Why did the man cross the road? Because the light was red!

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This is a haiku. Not a very good haiku, But still a haiku.

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What would have happend if martin Luther king was white? I don't know he wasn't so it's irrelevant

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black people

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Q:What do you call a black priest? A: A great quality volunteer at a local church.

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What did the old man say after he fell down? nothing.

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so a jewish man walks into a bar. He looks at the bartender and says...this better be free

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knock knock who's there? Ah Maj. Ah Maj who? (say it outloud)

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Q)Why doesn't the blond have a job? A) he is 12

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How did the guy fall off the roof? He was pushed

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What's the best thing for a hangover? Heavy drinking the night before.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops