A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, building up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

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Want to hear the story about how I got put in prison? So I have an odd bunch of friends: one of them is Polish and he works at a call centre, the other is a slave trader and his name is Richard. We tend to meet outside our Polish friend's house to speak or to do "business" when need be (I run errands for Richard) and the other day that's where I got asked to kidnap an American. "That's strange" I thought, but nevertheless I went out and took the American from his house and carried him over in a sack over to our meeting place. I handed him over and sneaked off as soon as I could, thinking I was home free. But I wasn't. The police turned up all angry like. There were witnesses. Turns out a bunch of kids saw me giving Dick a Yank next to the telephone Pole.

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A muslim walks through a medal detector before the entrance of the airport terminal. The alarm goes off and he is arrested by TSA officials, they open his jacket and find 30lbs of high explosives.

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Noses are red, Lips are blue, I have hypothermia, So do you.

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Whats red but smells like blue paint? Red paint

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Gullible is not in the dictionary Yes it is

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How do you get a girls number? Grow some balls and ask for it.

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What's long hard and black A drain pipe

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What do you call a white guy sitting on a bench? The NBA.

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What's big or small, can come in different colors, and would kill you if it was forced inside you? A refrigerator.

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Doesn't matter, had sex. Except for the STD's I possibly contracted.

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Two cows are standing on the top of North Pole and in a half-inch wind they're spanking a bottle of coconut jam. Suddenly two infrared gallopping fly past them. What's the consequence? That people shouldn't use freshly peeled lemoncakes on underwater cornfields.

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Fine, ladies first.

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Why did George Bush climb the Statue of Liberty? I'm not sure, as this incident is not covered in any of the myriad books written about his administration.

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My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard. I guess I make a good milkshake.

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A man walks out of a bar. Gets in his car and crashes because drunk driving isn't safe.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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To (down) Below: BAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA! LOLOLOL! MWAHAHAHAHA HOHOHOHO HEEEEEEEEEEHEEEEEEEHEEEEEEE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAAHAHA... Man I cant breathe! YUCK YUCK YUCK! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA! AHAHA! HOHOHOHOHOHO HAHAHAHAHA!

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Q: There's a Brit, Kenyan, German, and Colombian in one room. Where are they? A: Public School

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If Donald Trump was in Game Of Thrones, he'd probably be a part of The Wall.

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Julian Ha.

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Why do so many people enjoy these jokes. They are funny

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Porn

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so a unicorn walks into a bar... and then i woke up

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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