Knock Knock Who's there? Your mom. Just kidding, it's the pizza guy. Pizza guy who?

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Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's. Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's.

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The one under this is a fake. i wrote the real one

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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someone jumped off a bridge he died

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Why did the muslim cross the road? To blow up a train

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What looks good hanging from trees? Spanish moss.

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What happened to the homosexual jiggalo? He ended up getting aids from having anal sex with various men which is not the best idea because the anus where poop comes from.

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I love you, you love me. Barney is fat and not entertaining.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding poo in your shoe.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of a tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of a tree? It was cruelly stapled to the first one.

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What does a tomato and a human have in common? They both spray red liquid when stabbed repeatedly

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A man went to the doctor and told him he was having the strangest dream. "First I was a tee pee Then I was a wigwam A tee pee, a wigwam. Do you have any idea what could be wrong?" The doctor looked at the man and said "You have aids."

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What did the homosexual give in his secret box? important papers from work.

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Why was the baby so hot? Napalm. Why was the baby so cold? Meat locker.

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Q.-What's the difference between broccoli and a dead moose? A.-Yes.

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How do you stop a baby flying 100mph? a shovel

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have cancer, How 'bout you?

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Have you seen the movie "Gay Men Say No"? Oh yes, that is very insightful documentary on the modern day struggles of homosexuality.

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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a lightbulb One because lawyers are usually well educated and know how to screw in a lightbulb

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I wanted to burn alot of calories so i found a fat kid and set him on fire. :3

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't, a car ran him over.

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What do you call a man floating in a pool with his arms chopped off? A murder victim.

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What do you get when you cross scabies with genital warts? Krusty Krabs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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