A man walks in to a bar, and the Bartender says "Why the long face?" The man replies "My wife is dying of Terminal Cancer".

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I threw him

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Q:What did Batman say to Robin just before they got into the Batmobile? A:"Robin get in the Batmobile"

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A horse goes to the mall and when he is in the checkout line there is a man at the cash register the man at the cash register says "Why the long face?" and the horse replies "hey buddy, watch it!!!!!!!"

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Why did humpty dumpty fall off a wall? Well it turns out that he was a raging psycopath. to add on, he was also a suicidal

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Lollies are sweet warheads are sour, open your legs and feel my power

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Your mothers so dumb that when she had to take a math test, she received a significantly lower grade than the rest of her classmates.

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How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans

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Q: Who was the most famous French skeleton? A: Napoleon bone-apart.

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why was the kid sitting in a wooden chair? Because at the early age of four he was diagnosed with cancer and genital warts!

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was cooked with eleven herbs and spices.

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What's red and bad for youur teeth? A brick.

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A man was complaining about not getting enough sleep. He was then raped.

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What did the apple say to the banana? Nothing, apples can't talk

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Why didn't Michael Jackson celebrate his birthday? He's dead.

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cccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccorn

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What do you get when you throw a white hat in the red sea? A wet hat.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock...

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what is red white and blue? the french flag

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what's white and sticky semen

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Why couldnt the old man ski? There was no snow.

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Ben." Ben who?" "Ben Dover!" "Ben,it's been 7 years. I already moved on and have a new husband and family. Stop coming here or I'm calling the police."

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A man goes to a gas station to pump gas in his car. After about 7 minutes, he leaves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops