Why did Suzy drop her ball? Because roughly 5 years ago she was part of a car crash violently tearing off both of her arms. Knock knock. Who's there. NOT SUZY!

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Whats something really annoying? A guy who presses enter too much. hehe

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What did the lawyer say to the lawyer We are both lawyers

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Why does it take more than one squirrel to change a light bulb Why? Because they're so darn stupid

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse and progressive world in which we live.

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Q:How do you kill an Elephant? A:With an Elephant gun Q:How do you kill a blue Elephant? A:With a blue Elephant gun. Q:How do you kill a purple Elephant? A:With a purple Elephant gun. Q:How do you kill a red Elephant? A:There is no such thing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well why wouldn't it?

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What happens when you put a baby in the microwave? I don't know, cause I was to busy jerking off.

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Why did the creeper not go home? Because his parents blew up. (As told by a 7 year old.)

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What do you call Metta World Peace after he has hit somebody? Metta World War.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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All of the people in the burning building escaped except for one what was wrong with that one person? He was a blind, could not hear and was in a wheelchair.

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A man walks into a bar. He I then taken to the hospital for a major head injury.

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What state is high in the middle and round on both ends? Onorth Chiarolinao

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What if I told you.....potatoe

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van

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What's worse than smelly feet? Smelly hands.

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Why did the leaf fall off the tree? Because it was Fall.

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A Rabbi walks into a bar. He does not order any alcoholic beverages, because Orthodox Jews aren't allowed to consume alcohol except for certain times and religious customs.

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The Lord said to John: "Go forth and receive eternal life" But John went fifth... So he won a toaster

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Erron who the hell are you? How many people are you going to use before you finish whatever the fuck is on your agenda?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What do you call a Koala bear that does not have a chin? A Koala bear.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops