Why did the fish look like a human? Because it was a person, drowning.

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Why did Obama cross the road? Oh, wait, he didn't make it.

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What do you call an animal killed on the side of the road? A false accusation towards an inanimate object that has no other purpose then providing a safe and smooth ride for drives all around the world.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Fight fire with with fire! That would be impossible, it'd just make the fire bigger. And probably kill you.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he has no sense of living and no muscles to move.

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What happends when two gay guys want to have kids? They can't, so they go to an orphanage and adopt one.

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Colloqiual irregularities are a significant part of the English language, and excellent example of this is between can and may.

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Why was the baby flying? Because it's face was stapled to the propeller of a helicopter.

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A black man is like a sledge hammer; if you compare him to a sledge hammer, he will hit you with a sledge hammer.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, I'm blind.

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Whats small white and has a hole in it? A powdered Donut

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What do you call a cat with no ears? Anything you fucking well like. Cats can't understand speech.

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There was a Jewish man and a German man why was it akward? Because one of them farted

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Why is Michael Jackson bad at checkers? Cause he's dead.

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What did the mother say to her son? I have Leukemia.

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3 men walk into a bar. The 4th one ducks.

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A man is walking down the street in Chicago. A man in a car pulls up next to him and asks him, "Excuse me sir, how do I get to Carnegie Hall?", at which the man on the street said, "Go straight here, turn onto Birch, follow that to the second stop light, then turn left on Main, big complex, can't miss it." "Thank you!"

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What do you call two spaniards talking in French. Bilingual.

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A man walks outside and sits down to eat his sandwich.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? It's dependent on many factors, like the size of the babies and the tub. It would be a horrific endeavor, and you should probably stop thinking about such things.

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Why did the flight attendant look scared every time every time she saw a muslim get on the airplane? Because her family got murdered in front of her before she came to work

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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Why was the boy so tired? He had to carry his moms dead body up the stairs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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