Why isn't Billy Mays on TV anymore? Beacause Billy Mays was in a tradgic accident where a bowling ball fell on his head, and a couple days later he died of head trama. His family can't bear to hear his voice anymore.

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Q: why did the black man kill the white man? A: he was clinically depressed, mentally unstable, and had a grudge against the white man that had nothing to do with his race.

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That would mean that you are not its leader, or that you are, the result would have been the same, if you are the "head honcho" they would have gone for you, and your employees. Now, if you are an employee, they would have gone for your leader, and of course you. So between us and nobody else really its fucking antijoke, are you the leader?

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Q: What did Batman say when Robin was in the Batmobile? A: Robin, get out of the Batmobile.

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Barack Obama.

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stephen hawking walks into a bar...

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Why did the kids put pirahnas in Mr. Hermann's fish tank? So they could eat him.

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"Knock knock?" "Who's there?" "Two dead kittens."

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I like my women like I like my pancakes: Flipped over, inanimate, motionless, and covered in my syrup.

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A man told another,"You suck." The insulted man finished the sentence,"On juice boxes."

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What's harder to pick up, a football or an anvil? It doesn't matter when you lost your fingers in 'nam.

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what do you call an octopus with 9 tentacles? a male octopus

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What do you call a spaceman on Mars? Confused, because with the current technology it is impossible to send a human into space and onto Mars.

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why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a tomato.

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identical jokes get different votes.

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What was the black guy doing in Mississippi? Just hanging around.

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What's the difference between a duck?

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Doctor: I have good news and bad news. The good news is that your parents survived the car accident. Kid: And the bad news is? Doctor: I have a horrible sense of humor, they're both dead. I'm so sorry.

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Why do women live longer? Once their sexual and metabolistic hormones are moleculy different from men's, their metabolism is different and act on different organs and vice-versa. Therefore, they live longer. Still, in a worldwide average, more men born than women.

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There was once a really smart Hufflepuff.

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Q:Why did the little girl jump in the pool and drown? A:because she didn't know how to swim

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Why did the chicken cross the road? How the hell should I know? I'm not a chicken :/

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What happens if you fall of a cliff You die

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a man paints himself yello shrinks himself and walks into a baber shop then he relizes that the sizers are yello so he gets cut up into shreds and dies. THE END!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops