What's the difference between an elephant & a toaster? ....you can't tell the difference between an elephant & a toaster??

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what did Stan say to Dave? nothing, Dave died 500 years before Stan was born, thus he said nothing.

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1,000 people get out of a plane , who hits the ground first? The DEAD guy!!!!

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What's worse than burning a candle. Burning the bible. -Juanita

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your BANANA.

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Knock Knock Whose there? The pizza you ordered That's weird, the Pizza I ordered shouldn't be able to talk

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im 14, over weight and spotty! you interested? .... im desperate:)

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Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

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I've just been struck by an enormous bolt of lightning. I am covered in boils and my house is full of frogs. I strongly recommend that when referring to God, always use the upper case 'H' on all personal pronouns.

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A man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The barman says no.

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Two pen state administrators walk into a butt

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

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How do you kill a blonde? Throw a fridge at her

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The adventures of Helen Keller:

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What did the man with cancer say when he got hit in the face with a crowbar? "Ow."

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A cheerio gets a job at McDonalds and after working for a while, he gets employee of the month and goes to the district ball. While there, he meets a female(frosted) cheerio whom he asks out. She refuses because she only dates frosted cheerios. So, the male goes back to work for the next year, and his boss is happy with his work, so he asks him if he would like anything. The cheerio says yes, i want to be frosted. The boss says ok, i'll make you frosted, so now that he's frosted, he goes back to the ball. He asks the same female cheerio out, she says yes this time. He then asks her if she wants something to drink, she says yes. She wants some milk. So the guy stands in line for about 15 minutes, when he gets to the front, there is no more milk left. So he asks her if she would like some tea. she says yes. So he goes and stands in line for another 15 minutes only to find out there is no more tea. So then he asks her if she would like some punch, shesays yes. So after an hour of searching, he finds out there is no punchline......

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Why did michael jackson wear white gloves around young boys? His doctor recommended that he do so due to bad circulation.

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A man walks into a bar. As he walks in, numerous people turn their heads in awe. Is it... it can't be. It's Paul McCartney, the famous musician! "Oh - I'm not Paul McCartney". The man then said. "I just look a lot like him. Sorry." "Awww. That's a shame." said John Lennon, disappointed.

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What's the difference between an anti-joke and a joke? The anti-Joke isn't a freaking joke. So stop freaking doing it!

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Okay so there was a turtle, a pig, and a donkey. They were out fishing when suddenly they spot a man in boat. The man said he hasn't eaten in 5 days and he is very hungry. He looked at the turtle and said "no, too much shell." The turtle was happy and left. He looked at the pig and said "no, too much fat." The pig ran away and was very happy. He looked at the donkey and said "I think I'll have donkey today." The donkey ran away because he was scared. The man died from hunger.

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When life hands you lemons, make lemonade. Well, life isn't a physical being so chances are low that it will actually hand you lemons.

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Why did the chicken cross the road. He didn't, this joke gets old really fast

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No one knows because humans do not have the capability of accessing the chickens brain to receive their knowledge and what they were thinking about in the past.

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True fact: every rabbit lives their whole cute life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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