What's the difference between Neal Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neal Armstrong was the first man to WALK on the MOON, while Michael Jackson enjoyed touching young boys.

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What's the only part of a vegetable you cant eat? The wheelchair

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How can you tell if a duck is under your bed? Look under your bed

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There once lived a man in Peru. He lived in a small apartment then died of kidney failure.

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Is your refridgerator running? good, because if it wasn't then your food would spoil.

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walk into your friend’s house and say “what’s up with the dead guy out front?” (you have to murder a person for this joke to work)

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What is a black guys favourite thing to eat? Food.

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What happenswhen a geman shepard jumps into a lake? it gets wet

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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What did little Timmy get for Christmas? Abandoned

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It's okay, I got the yogurt.

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An English couple walk int a Portuguese bar. They never see their daughter again.

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Why dose my mom have a penis? She is a man

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A horse walks into a bar and Shits John Taffer is Pissed

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Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Biting into another apple and finding the other half

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A: What does MC Hammer like? B: Big Butts. A: Can he lie? B: No.

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Why did the little girl fall from the swing? She's got no arms.

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Knock Knock. Hello Frank! How'd you know it was me? There is a window next to the door.

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what did the black guy ge for christmas? a speeding ticket

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What's big and white and wilbkill you if it falls from a tree? My dick.

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Want to hear an orphan joke? Knock Knock Who's there? Not the parents

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Why did the house burn down? Obama

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the food supply was scarce

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Do you know why one side of the V formation that geese fly in is longer than the other? Because there's more geese on that side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops