Guy: I have a penis growing out of my crotch. Girl: Hah, sucks to be you! Guy: Yeah.

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Stephen Hawking can walk

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What's worse than a bee sting? A katon.

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Knock knock Go away

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why was ej's penis hard? because he had just got done having fine exquisit sex which he had ejaculated with a sturn body builder name frank who he had been seeing for the past few months.

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Several of our "name brothers" have been attacked threatened and questioned almost every night since when we last talked on the phone, it turns out that these people are not after me. But after you, they have no idea that I retired years ago, and while their information is limited, you got yourself someone that is selling information on the deep web intentionally, as far as we know he might be selling you out piece by piece, and as of this point, you might be in dire danger.

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Q:What's the greatest part about having sex with twenty five year old girls? A: There's 20 of them

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Why did Billy Bob kidnap Jamal? Because he finds the African American community fascinating and is unable to start up a regular conversation due to the over-amplified stereotype that rednecks usually kidnap and/or kill black people. Therefore, kidnapping Jamal was necessary so that he could have a conversation with him about his heritage and background.

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What is white, black, and red all over? A: A zebra being slaughtered.

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Person 1: *sneeze Person 2: bless you Person 1: I'm jewish. They never spoke again.

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It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from. So, you should probably leave.

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A Jew, Christian and a Muslim walk into a bar. They have fun there a good time and then they go home.

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Q: Why did the dead baby cross the road??? A: It was stapled to the chicken.

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This is not an anti-joke... A man is walking down a street and see's a small boy crying in an alley. The man walks up to him and asks him "What's wrong little guy?" The boy replies that his family is poor, they just got evicted from there house and his parents decided to kill themselves. The man decides out of guilt to bring the boy home and support him for a few days. Three days later the man see's a note on the couch that says "Thank You..." Signed Jamal. The man sighs and says to himself "Your Welcome." The man walks into his room and see's the boy's body in his closet. He starts hysterically laughing and cries into his pillow for many minutes. When he is done sobbing he asks himself "What could be worst than this?" The man walks to his kitchen asking that question over and over. He reaches into his cabinet and grabs his cereal and pours into his bowl. The boy walks out chuckling and says, "Bye bye..." The man was poisoned and died. Now the boy get's the other cereal out and is about to pour it only to find out it was empty. "Screw the Holocaust this SUCKS!!!!!"

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Chuck Norris.

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rose are red so is u want to know why because i shot her

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What did the foreigners do to pass time? They blew up the twin towers.

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Knock knock, ... Little Timmy bursts into tears, Because his parents don't love him.

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how did a white girl have a black baby? she was raped at the age of thirteen.

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why wont chin ever take his hat off because his head will be cold

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What did the legless veteran get for christmas, The same grenade that blew up his legs.

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What did the computer say to his girlfriend? I'm going to RAM you tonight.

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So a clown walks up to you and asks, "What'll always STICK with you? The violent disposition of humanity."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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