How do you make a baby stop crawling? Nail it to the ground

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

An elephant and a hippopotamus were taking a bath. The elephant said to the hippo, " Please pass the soap." The hippo replied, "No soap, radio."

Why do dinosaurs have no friends? Because they are all dead

Your mother is so fat that LOWERLOWEOROLWERLOWEH OIRH OWER IOWEJ OR OIJWE :JWEJKLR

Why did the jew ask for $10 back after he lent a boy $2? Because of inflation

SteVen Hawking wals into a bar

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue,All you HATERS of J. Bieber, Go suck your MOTHER.

What happened when the black man tried to cross the road Nothin. He tripped on a bug trying to get on the edge

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You pour cold water on her head or make a loud noise nearby.

CHORGLUND

Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Why'd he fall off again? Because we put him back on.

why did suzie fall of the swings? because she had no arms.

Q: Whats the deifference between me and you A: The fact that im the beautiful one -RDV

What did the cat say to the human? Nothing

A: knock knock B: who's there A:come in B:come in who?

whats ironic about a white van being white the driver usualy is not

In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

Knock! Knock! Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock! Knock! Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock! Knock! Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad this joke is over?

What is striped black and white? A prisoner in jail arrested for the murder and rape of a 7 year old child.

What do you do when your dish washer breaks? divorce her.

what did one paper football say to the other? did you get flicked off too.

What if I told you.....potatoe

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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