Q. How do you wake up a sleeping rich man? A. By splashing acid in his face

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Anti-jokes are funny.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

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Three soldiers, one Japanese, one American, and one Italian were stuck in a desert. How did they escape? A rescue squad of thirty trained troops came down in a helicopter and brought them each to their respective homes except the Italian who was actually a M.afia boss so they put him in prison.

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do you know what happened to the bravest warrior in the battle who got stabbed in the foot while trying to rescue puppies from a burning building and dying children? well he took the children and puppies home, and ate them. then the SWAT came in and killed him. so yeah... oh... suck my a s s barf

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Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?? The WheelChair

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What happened when the dinosaur walked into a lake? It got wet

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Whats worse than having cancer? Nothing....

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1657 is a cool number, when a leprachaun sings it sounds like pie drinking an obese penguin (do you know what I mean....) :D

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What did the cracker say to the cheese? You're so cheesy.

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Why did the guy in the ferrari stop? -He hit the median at 100mph.

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Why do black people like Black Friday? They can get fairly expensive appliances for a very reasonable price.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Vacuum, purple, zebra.

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Why did the kid get on the bus. Because he had to go home

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What kind of cheese isn't yours? Someone else's.

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Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach? She wanted a tattoo.

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Why the long face? My face isn't long, it's the same shape as everyone else, retard. I meant why are you sad. I'm not sad.

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Why did the Albino cross the road? He was going to the skin pigment store.

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What did the plant say to the human. Nothing.

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Q:What did the deaf kid say to the blind kid? A: nothing deaf kids can't talk they can only have conversations with their hands,which would be pretty useless at this moment cause the blind kid can't see his hand guestures

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Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

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Rebecca Black. That's it. That's the joke.

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If the human population held hands around around the equator A significant portion of them would drown.

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You know what makes me smile? Face muscles.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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