- Anti Joke

your mom is so ugly, when she throws a boomerang it doesn't come back

Q: How can you tell when your selling a Blondel a microwave A: she will keep asking how many chandler the Tv gets

What do you call justin bieber haveing sex with a lady? A dream

A white man, a black man, and a woman are drinking in the local pub. The black man and the woman are hanged. Medieval European pubs did not permit either.

Ron Paul for President!

A man walks into a bar. Nothing happens that's worth explaining.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has two legs

why did the kids pull the fire alarm? because there was a fire.

roses are red violets are blue most poems rhyme but this one doesnt

What has feet, but no legs? An alien.

How many dead babies can you fit in an oven? Depends on if you put them in the blender first.

Why is Abraham Lincoln a bad driver? Because he is dead.

What did the 3 month old puppy get for Valentines day? Heart Worms. What'd he get for Christmas? Put down.

How many women does it take to change a lightbulb. None, Thomas Edison was a man.

Why did my penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

So, as everyone knows, two different species (flavors) of cheerios cannot mate, right (common knowledge)? That is, if one is honey-nut and another is blueberry, they cannot mate. Anyway, there is this one normal cheerio that is in love with a blueberry cheerio. Unfortunately, he cannot mate with her. He can't even communicate with her because they are of different species. So, he invents a machine that changes all of his CNA (Cheerio DNA) into whichever type of cheerio that he wants. However, this machine performs a process that is extraordinarily painful, because that sort of thing would hurt. Anyway. He does it, and the normal flavored cheerio becomes a blueberry cheerio. Unfortunately, this girl cheerio hates him so much that she invents an identical machine and does the process on herself in order to become a cinnamon-apple cheerio, just so she can avoid this creeper. So, she does it. The boy cheerio is starting to get upset at this because he really wants her. So he tells himself that he will go through the pain for her, and becomes a cinnamon-apple cheerio. She then changes to a honey-nut cheerio! He decides that this is the last time that he will change cheerio type. He does it, and she changes one more time, into a normal cheerio - the kind he originally was. So he says out loud, "Okay, this is really the last time. If she changes again, I will just stay back with my family." So he becomes a normal cheerio again, and she doesn't change fast enough for him to put his moves on her. So, they start dating, and he finally asks her to the Formal Bowl (ahaha, get it, bowl instead of ball). Anyway, they get there and dance intensely for a few hours. They do all different kinds of dances. They do the tango, which was not very good. Also, they square dance, like rednecks. Finally, they get tired and she sends the boy cheerio to the milk bowl (you know, since it's a cereal dance, they have that and punch). He gets there and stands in line for ten minutes. Finally fed up at the really long line, he looks over at the bowl of punch and realizes there is no punch line.

A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

Why does an ostrich have such a long neck? Because its head is so far from its body.

There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are yellow Grass is green

So, two black guys walk into a bar... And they pay their tab and couldn't have been more courteous

guess what im a bitch i have no balls and i can slap your mum in the face

Q: What do you call a room full of black people? A: A Social Gathering.

A: Knock Knock B: 7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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