What is blue and roles about on the floor A baby playing with a plastic sack

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A man falls out of a boat. What happens next? Well, you would think he'd know how to swim, but due to his alzheimer's he didn't, so he drowned.

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What did the homeless man do with his trolley of aluminium cans He took them to the scrapyard and sold them back for money as this is his only source of income right now

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Q: Why doesn't Micheal Jackson have orgasms? A: Because he's dead.

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Why was the baby crying? Because it was on fire.

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You have AIDS.

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Q: Why did the Westboro Baptist Church picket the gay marine’s funeral? A: Homosexuals are a plague sent by Satan to destroy the fabric of America.

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What is a frogs favorite drink? Water.

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What did one alien say to another alien? I miss Mexico.

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Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to form the basis of an extremly popular jokewhich would grace the schoolyards around the world for centurys to come!

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A woman stopped making sandwiches.

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What did the farmer say when his cow got stuck in a tree? - "Get down"

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? The lawyer is a human being whose profession is to give legal advice and assistance to clients and represent them in court or in other legal matters while the catfish is a freshwater or marine fish with whiskerlike barbels around the mouth, typically bottom-dwelling. -BG_Shank_A

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Wanna know a secret? I didn't read or agree to the terms and services

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How do you make a clown cry? Kill his family

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Why'd the guy fall off the building? I pushed him

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Why did Rihanna sing "to the left, to the left"? Because people usually sing in songs

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a women.

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Why did the man with no arms fall of his bike? Someone threw a washing machine at him

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Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: 7 is a registered sex offender.

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Why did stevie get stabbed in the jugular by his sister? He was telling bad anti jokes.

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How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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