Me and my friend wanted to burn some calories so we found a fat kid and lit him on fire!

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I remember the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket. I bet I can kick this bucket. He missed and had a heart attack.

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What comes after Friday? A ?.

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what's gray, rectangular, and provides a good time? your mother's sex tape.

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what did the apple say to the peer... I taste better !!

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why did the chicken cross the road............ why dont you tell me smartass

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why did the kid drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by the ice cream van

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Why did the man punch the women? I don't know, but he served jailtime

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You are so ugly that for Halloween you had to trick or treat by phone.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Why did Johnny fall off his bike? His father never taught him how to ride one as he was an abusive alcoholic who abandoned Johnny's mother when Johnny was 3, so he is not very good at riding bikes.

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What were the muslims doing on the plane? Probably going somewhere that was too far to walk or drive.... just like everyone else on the plane.

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How do you make a clown shut up? Throw a axe at it!!

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Whats 1+1? The answer!

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What did George Bush say when 9/11 happened? "Silly pilots! The airport isn't in a building!"

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Smoke weed till i die nigga

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Listen Nero, I understand now that this is your real name, actually I know where you live thanks to the good old phonebook... ...My order is fully based on respecting and treating all living beings equally and focusing on actually putting old notions such as Gods and superstition away in order to strengthen humankind`s belief in itself and others. As for Nerometal, well, that was one of my... Lesser followers, I assure you they have been taken care off, they will not be bothering you ever again. What would it take for you to forgive our transgressions? Money? Power? Ask and you shall receive, as far as your identity goes, you shall have it back and I shall use another site in the future.

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What did the Chinese man say to the black man? I'm Part of my Asian herritage.

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What's the difference between a brick and a baby? One is a fundamental item used in building walls and the other is a human

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What do you call a dead guy under the ocean? Murder.

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your mom is so black that it can be assumed she is of african descent

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Q: What do you say when you see your T.V. floating at night? A: That's so frickin awesome

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Why is the sky blue? Time to get a watch.

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What did the previously pregnant teen flush down the toilet? Her beloved pet goldfish who recently died. She had already given birth to a healthy baby the previous year.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops