Knock Knock Who's there? The electrician, I'm here to fix your door bell.

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what's worse than than finding a worm up your ass? Death

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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Why didn't the boy cross the road? Because there was traffic moving at high speed and he didn't want to be paralyzed from the waist down

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Why did Anakin tell Luke he was his father? Because honest people never lie

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Ask me if i'm a serial killer Are you a serial killer? Yes and I killed your family

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Why was Jimmy upset? He wasn't.

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Why did the Muslim man get on a plane? Because he was going on vacation

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How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? It's a trick question. Feminists can't change anything.

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An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

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Yo mama's so fat, she weighs over 400 pounds.

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A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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What happened to the guy that got shot? He fell down

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The fox said to the walrus, "Hatee-hatee-hatee-ho!" And the walrus replied, "Goo-Goo-g'joob".

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Why did the princess kiss the frog? She really wanted a wart.

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A cheeseburger and fries walk into a bar. The bartender says "sorry, we don't serve lunch"

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Whats the sad thing about 4 black guys going over a cliff in a car? It was my car!

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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What did the boy say after he got hit by a bus? Nothing. He's dead.

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What do you call two black people on one bike? Unsafe. Regular bicycles are typically not suited for use by two people at once, black or otherwise. Riding on the handlebars is dangerous and can lead to serious injury.

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Why does a man have a closet full of fruits? Because he has a mental illness and there is nothing to laugh about.

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why did little suzy fall off the swing? she was stabbed by a drugaddict

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Q:Whats the difference between Jews and Pizza? A: Jewish people are humans, and pizza is a food

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So, there was two successful business men at a social gathering when one leans in to the other to comment, "Hey, that women over there, she looks like your wife!" to which the other one replies, "That is my wife."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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