Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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What did the orange say to the lemon? "Hello"

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How many times has Belle Ahern been hit in the mutt 76. Stupid slut

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Why did the baby fall off the swing? Because i hit it with a bat.

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XD I literally cant stop laughing XD, thats like a manly tussle would go down huh? XDXDXD Cartoon Network? Is that thing still on anywhere? You like watching cartoons? I don't mind if you do.

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Q:What happened to the fat man that rode a roller coaster? A:He had fun

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Why did Timmy fall down the stairs Because he is blind and I pushed him

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Your momma's so fat: She feels uncomfortable in public due to current trends in ideal body shape and aesthetics of beauty.

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What's worse than dropping you're ice cream? Getting your face mauled off by a German Shepard.

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What can be smooth but also rough? Endoplasmic Reticulum

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Q: What goes up but doesn't come down? A: Columbia

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Why did Ant Man die? He was shot by a gangster, duh.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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It was a boys birthday, his mom died of cancer, his dad of aids, and all of his siblings were put in a gas chamber. Happy Birthday

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Knock, knock! Who's there? No one. No one actually knocked on your door because this is just a joke.

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How does a dyslexic person read the word 'schitzophrenia'? Schitzophrenia. I leid abuot teh dyslxeia.

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A Black guy and a Jewish guy walk into a bar. What does the black guy say to the Jew? "Hi".

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Why did the maid clean the house? Because that's her job, ya moron.

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two but I don't know how they got in there.

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The umpire asked the baseball coach "Who is that on 1st base?" The baseball coach said "Who." The umpire said "Yes, that's what I'm asking." The baseball coach handed the umpire a list of his players to avoid any further confusion.

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What's the difference between a melon? One of its halves are both the same.

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I saw a stray dog the other day So I petted it and got on my way.

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what's worse than jamming a finger in a door the holocaust what's worse than the holocaust jamming 2 fingers in a door

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Why did little Timmy fall off his bike? His pace maker failed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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