A man is pulled over for drunk driving, and is asked to say the alphabet backwards. When requested to do so, the man says, "officer, I can't even do that when I'm sober," thus admitting that he is drunk. The police officer chuckles at the drunk man's stupidity, and wonders whether or not his wife would find the incident funny. After all, they do share a similar sense of humor.

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How did the fat guy survive the air crash? He was he was astronomically and improbably lucky.

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So a little girl walked into a bar... A concerned adult then told the bartender. The bartender's name was Jim. Jim then asked the girl if she knew her phone number. The little girl said nothing and the bar tender was perplexed at the petrified look on the girls face. Jim the bartender then called the police and explained the situation.Once the girl was brought back to the police station it was learned that she had been missing for three months in a nearby county. The police then return to the bar to find that the owner had multiple kidnapped little girls in a cage under the bar that only he and the kidnapped girls knew about before the cops and Jim the bartender discovered it. The police then arrested The owner of the bar. He stood trial and was senteced to death row, he remains there today.

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Two gophers are in a tank One of them says how the heck do you drive this thing?

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought is was yours.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, why am i even talking to you?

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What is the worst place to be in race if you're racing with me Behind me

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Billy and Joseph are playing Rock paper scissors. Billy says paper. Joseph proceeds to throw a rock as hard as he can at Billys face and sends him to the emergency room where he was later diagnosed with terminal testicular cancer.

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What has seven legs and cant walk? A paraplegic, and I lied about five of those legs.

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Q: What did little Timmy get from his mother this Christmas? A: The contents of her will.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: Depends on how hard you throw them.

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What did the boy get at the bowling alley for his birthday? a corpse. *from Bones

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A kid goes into the ocean on a boogyboard and then gets eaten by a shark because the shark thought he was a seal.

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your mother is so fat that I am concerned that her health is at stake and she may develop diabetes and heart disease

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Read a Book.

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matt is fat

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Why did little Katie fall off her bike? Because the postman killed the bee hive.

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Robin, get in the car!

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Skinny people fart less.

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You the same as before? I am being a bit overly cautious I admit that, I would call you, the problem is that while you are either pretty good at pretending to be innocent and all, or actually pretty down to earth, I mean I would probably applaud you for tricking me into believing you are pretty sweet before, but I got my wife and her family to take care off now, its not quite the same getting stabbed in the back anymore,

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ive been a naughty girl, and i need something to plug my hole. call or text me;) 1 (802) 299-5281

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what did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas Cancer

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Boy: Hey girl if I had hand-cuffs, I’d lock myself to you right now! Girl: I would find that extremely creepy.

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What did the man say when he saw a alien? "Look its a Alien"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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