There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour. Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry." "No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away." "I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."

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what did one sandwich say to another sandwich? nothing, sandwiches cant talk

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What do you call a black man on a bike? A hard-working individual who found a steady job and earned enough money to buy a bicycle of his own which he rides to and from his job because he is healthy, doesn't like to waste money on gas, and doesn't like the pollution automobiles put into the air. By Darragh Hamilton

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An Aussie, a Mexican and an Asian walk into a bra. You read that wrong.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I told him to. I'm very influential.

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Q:Why did the man fall down the stairs? A:Because someone pushed him down.

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What did Timmy want for Christmas? Parents.

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Two men walk into a bar. They get drunk.

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Why can't Larry drive? Because he doesn't have his license, and his temps expired!

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Q: What did the hooker say to the priest? A: That was a wonderful sermon. I look forward to next Sunday's church service.

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there were 2 black men and a mexican man in a car. who as driving? we cant tell from the problem but is is more likely it is a black guy because there are 2 of him and 1 mexican.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Who wants $300? Me too.

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How do you get the pesky neighborhood kids off your front lawn? Molest them.

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Knock Knock Who's there? ........

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What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot.

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Why are asians such bad drivers? Cause they constantly have their eyes closed.

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Why did David Hasselhoff talk to his car? Because it was KIT from knight Rider and had voice recognition software and so could understand him

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Becuase the farmer has recently gone blind due to old age and he acidently left the gate opened and the chicken happened to walk out

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What do you call Batman and Robin after they have been run over by a car? Dead.

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What do you call two babys with one head? I dont know either, answers on postcard please!

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What did all of the blind children sing on the bus ride? Nothing because they drove off a cliff

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what do you call 3 black men in a line up? their names

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a terrorist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops