What's the difference between an orange? A bicycle because a vest doesn't have any sleeves.

I don't believe in giraffes.

What did the Dildo say to the banana? Nothing, unless you're high on acid.

whats worse than the holocaust? i don't know, the holocaust was pretty bad.

What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac over off a cliff? A Cadillac seats 5

Your momma so stupid, she speaks poorly and can't spell very well.

Why wouldnt you want to hit a black man that is on a bike with your car? It mite be your bike

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped.

How do you confuse a chicken? Paint yourself black and throw seeds at it.

What did one cow say to the other? Moo.

whats black and yellow a chinese with a bruise

What did the farmer say when he finally found his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?" Oh ya he had alzheimers.

(Pretend you're an orphan.) Knock knock. Who's there? Not your parents.

Its a sunny day. There's a tree and a bird. What did they say to each other? --------------------------------------------------- Nothing they can't talk.

What did the duck say when it saw a puddle? Nothing.Ducks are uncapable of speaking human speech.

What colour is an orange? Orange. What did you expect?

YOU MEAN SHE ACTUALLY EVER LIKED ME? WOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Anyway, tell her to contact me here, during the number of letters up there divided by a certain number you got over there, minus the letters here subtracted with the VEEEEEEERY same ammoooouuuuunt... Moral: God I need to invent a code system that makes me sound less like Jim Carrey on crack...

joe: guess what. Bob: what. Joe: nothing I just wanted to talk

Did you hear about the guy that lost the whole left side of his body? Well, he's all right.

How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 17

A stripper walks into a bar, she proceeds to cry because she's an alcoholic and a stripper. Meanwhile, her 3 children sit at home hungry. She then goes home, and grabs her gun and shoots her children, then shoots herself. Bucket.

3 guys are in a car crap manners and shut up.shut up is driving and crape falls out the window so manners goes and gets him. A cop pulls over shut up.he goes what's your name son?shut up.where's your manners boy?over there picking up crape.

How does Lady Gaga like her meat? Cooked until it reaches an internal temperature of 180 degrees Fahrenheit to lower the risk of contracting diseases such as salmonella.

Why did the guy playing Monopoly sell Boardwalk for $100 to the woman wearing an exotic outfit which shows off her boobs but wouldn't sell Boardwalk for $1000 to the other person that was playing the game? The other person had Park Place as well which would have given them a monopoly on the blue property if he had sold it to that person. And $100 is all the girl had or he would have asked for more but he needed the $100 in order to pay this other player and keep himself from going bankrupt after landing on one of his Hotels.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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