Q: What did the police officer tell the man without a shirt on? A: Put a shirt on.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Penguin. Penguin who? The penguin who apparently lives next door and somehow developed the ability to successfully interact with other species through gesture and retoric.

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Why was the man so fat? Because he is in a wheel chair and can't exercise.

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(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

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Q. What did the Muffins say to the man? A. Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects therefore unable to speak.

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Fishing rods are cool This haiku does not make sense Lumpy Space Princess

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If George Washington was the first president, and Barack Obama is the latest, how old is my grandma?

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A man goes to a gas station to pump gas in his car. After about 7 minutes, he leaves.

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Why did the chicken cross the road ( The chicken says) I dream of a world where a chicken can cross the road without having morals questioned.

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did u ever hear a bird joke "no" hawkword

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Why did you laugh at this joke. Because it was funny.

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How did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it died. how did the second monkey fall out of the tree? because it was stapled to the other monkey.

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What's black, white, and red all over? That could describe any number of objects.

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Whats the difference between black people and white people? They're both people.

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Why was the napkin wet? Some water was on it

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Why did the little boy cry? He fell down the stairs

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Why was Jimmy upset? Someone kept pouring liquid nitrogen on him.

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What Batman said to Robin before they got in the car? -Get in the car Robin!

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What did the man say when he walked into a bar? Nothing because he got knocked out because he was running too fast and hit his head.

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How can you tell if an elepant has been in your refrigerator? It has been destroyed.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown There is crap in my garden

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Q. What happened to the girl who locked her keys in her car? A. I raped her.

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What's worse than a bag of dead babies? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Jews.

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V I T A M I N C !

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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