Hey

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Two guys went into a bar and started drinking. After sometime one guy said to the other, "I love your mother.I want to marry her." The other guy said,"Come on dad,you have been drinking too much."

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What did Zeus say to Hades? Nothing. Both are mythological beings created by the Greek civilization to explain why many things in the world happened, mostly because of a lack of modern science.

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Oh please! Come on! Those that got to us where mostly Russians remember? And what where my parents? (if you do not know you might have guessed it by now) I found a guy that looked about the same as me, messed him up and put my jacket on him, I do not die that easily. Anyway, id explain more, but I have been without these fucking painkillers so long that I am talking trash on this stupid site again... Seriously the pain I am used to, but this addiction on painkillers is a bitch... (shedog if censor got a hold on it) But it turns out I cant sleep without them, sleep just does not come anymore, so Ill go get some now. Who are you by the way? I am Nero7, Aka Axel Knight.

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What did the senator do after he typed he email? He clicked the send button.

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What's pink, bubbly, and goes round and round? A baby in a microwave.

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What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

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you just read an anti-joke

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There's an Irishman, a homo-sexual, and a Jew standing at a bar. What a fine example of an integrated community!

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do you listen to dubstep? OH YEA I LOVE SKRILLEX -_-

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A man arrives at his work late, his boss says "why are you late?" Then man replys "...................." he was dead.

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Knock Knock Come in Come in who? Come in...wait what?

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Roses are red Violets are blue I need to go to the bathroom.

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What's twelve inches long and makes women scream? Crib death.

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how do you kill a bird? tie it to a tree throw a wasp nest at it and run the tree over with a semi filled with manure

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"Knock, knock." "You don't have to say that. The door's open, come on in."

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Why Johnny's parents threw out his broken bike? - ´Cause Johnny got hitted by a drunken driver and died last week, when he was cycling to school.

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Roses are red,Violets are blue, Who the hell are you,Get the hell away

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What's Donald Trump's favorite color? Green.

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If Justin Bieber and Rebecca Black had a baby, would it be a boy or a girl? It's a fifty-fifty shot.

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Why does Magic Johnson have to use extra-large condoms? Because he's got a giant dick and HIV.

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What is meant by the term 'Biological control''? Not ending up on the Jeremy Kyle Show.

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Death by kayak

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Why was the pig squealing? Because all four of its legs were tied together and it was about to have it's head chopped off so the meat could be processed for people to enjoy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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