How did Justin Bieber die? He didn't. And we all need to stop making fun of that poor boy.

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sucks Syntax...

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What would Ronald Reagan say if he was alive today? Nice to meet you my name is Ronald Reagan

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What's better than winning the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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Q. Whats worse than 9 babies in 1 suitcase? A. 1 baby in 9 suitcases.

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Wanna hear the most repeated joke on anti jokes? Why did [insert name here] fall off the swing? Because he/she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not [insert name here].

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What did the convicted pedophile do to the ten year old boy? He molested him.

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? Well, to tell you the truth, I think that the chick-fa-lea came first.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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Knock knock. Whos there Time to get a watch

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There's a black man in my family tree. Therefore, I could be considered biracial.

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How do you get a mexican to do the yard work faster? Offer him a 5% bonus.

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What does a penguins wear on it's feet? Nothing penguins are incapable of wearing foot wear, also they do not have feet they are called 'flippers'.

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A lesbian couple, a straight couple, and a gay couple walk into a bar. They enjoy their drinks and camaraderie.

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap ...in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations])That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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What happened to the man who had the most loving parents and family when he was born, had an amazing childhood which he shared with so many good friends, was loved everywhere, helped the poor, started a fundraiser for starving kids in africa, got a college education, helped a complete stranger get off his drug addiction, married a beautiful woman, bought a nice house and had 3 children who he loved dearly and spent time with as much as he possibly could, tucked them in every night and enjoyed every second of his life as if it was his last? He died.

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Two girls were taken away mysteriously in the night. The next day, no one cared because they were orphans.

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A blonde, a brunnette, and a red head all jump from the top of a building. They all land at the same time because of Newton's 3rd Law

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a black guy with a parrot on his shoulder was walking down the street. another man asked, "where did you get him?" The parrot said, "theres tons of them in africa."

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Why didn't the man walk done the stairs? Because he had no legs

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Why didn't the woman make sandwiches? She was making baguettes.

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My name is Matt and I am homosexual. Just kidding. My names Rick.

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Knock knock Who's there? Guess who. You have 4 options: A. Jeremy Stevens B. Donald Jefferson C. Richard Gillespie D. Paul Faggot Um A? Nope, the correct answer is D. Paul Faggot Oh hi Paul, come in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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