Yo mama is so fat that she has to eat salad instead of sandwiches because she wants to lose weight by going on a no-carb diet.

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What do you call a duck playing a trombone? Hallucinations

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WHY DID THE MAN FART HE WAS A FARTY PANTS AND WE CAN CHAT HERE ON THIS WEB GO TO ANTI JOKE SEE ME I WILL GIVE U JOKES

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How do you confuse a Muslim? - Rub his belly.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Open up.

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A man goes to the movies with his wife, two hours later they drive home and find their house just the way they left it.

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Why did the piece of gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chicken's foot.

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charly ate an apple. the apple was filled with poison and charly died.

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Why do Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles always smile? Because they enjoy there life even though there both blind.

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*insert corny "a man walks into a bar" joke here*

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? The Holocaust.

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What did the unicorn say to the horse? I have a horn and you don't.

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What do you call an overly-sexual, chewbacca-like creature that smokes cocaine and shoots heroin, while beating its offspring? Mom.

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What happened when the old man fell off the roof? He died....

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Why did the man jump off the cliff? Because he suffered from chronic depression as a result of frequent drug abuse.

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Shut up max im not fucking demented u dickhead

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Why didn't the little boy have arms or legs? Because they were savagely ripped off of him by a black bear on a very unfortunate camping trip.

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knock knock! who is there? its knock! knock who??? knock knock... who is there.... i told you its knock... knock who??? knock knock... WHO IS THERE!! OMG I TOLD YOU ITS KNOCK! KNOCK WHO!! WHO IS KNOCK! KNOCK KNOCK OMG WTF! HOLY SHIT WHO IS THERE! ITS KNOCK WE HAVE KNOWN EACH OTHER OUR WHOLE LIVES! KNOCK WHO?? KNOCK KNOCK WHY DONT YOU REMEMBER ME! oh knock knock from next door! who is there???? jk.. knock...knock......omg put down the gun knock knock stop i love you knock its not worth it!! NO KNOC!!! GUNSHOT* KNOCK NOOOOO!!! I LOVED YOU SOMEONE CALL 911!! OMG KNOCK WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH KNOCK WHY!!!!

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are camping out. After they set up their tent and get inside to go to sleep, they look up at the stars. Holmes asks Watson to make a deduction. "Well, Holmes, I think it's highly probable that other planets outside our own, among those many stars up there, could have sentient life." Holmes points up and says, "Someone stole our tent, you idiot."

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Person 1: *sneeze Person 2: bless you Person 1: I'm jewish. They never spoke again.

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How do you get a blonde with one hand out of a tree? Grab a ladder and carry her down.

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A man spoke in a high-pitched voice. Another man said "Are you gay" He responded, "Why, yes"

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the moment right after you finish the last harry potter and remember the world wasn't saved and you still have cancer

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Bitch

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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