what is the difference between a car salesman and a lawyer? a car salesman sells cars to people while a lawyer is an expert in law.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? ........finding a worm in your apple.

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Why didn't the man fall off his bicycle? Because He wasn't riding a bicycle!

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You had ONE job. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough to support your dying wife and ill child.

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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ok there is 3 people and the white kid says "bet i got a better dick than all of you" he pulls it out and then the mexican says "nope got you beat" and then the black guy says "nope got all you beat look" and then the mexican and white guys say "its because your black" so the black guy goes home and tells his mom wht happen and ask " is it true mines bigger because im black?" she said " no it bc your 23"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111

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What do you call a bear in an elevator?...A fire hazard.

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what is big, grey and sits in the middle of a field. A filing cabinet

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Your d is so small that when you had a boner and walked into the wall....... YOU BROKE YOUR NOSE! Millimeter Monster bro

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What is the similarity between an elephant and a grape? Absolutely nothing. One is an animal, while the other is a fruit.

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What do you get when you cross a shark and a squid Nothing thats impossible

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A blode walks into a bar, She gets her hair dyed brown and is later presumed smarter due to a the genral public being steriotipical.

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lewis=cardiac

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Where's a bad place to park your car? In a no-parking zone

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The optimist sees the glass as half full. The pessimist sees the glass as half empty. The average American sees a half-finished glass of water that is not flavored and is therefore is not worth any reasonable person's time.

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Q. Why did Michael Jackson call Boys II Men? A. He thought it was a home delivery service.

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Lasers are red, Tasers are blue, and I will use them, to kill you!

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A man walked into a bar. He left in a body bag.

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What is the difference between a clown and a dead baby? One makes you laugh and one is just a clown.

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one. Any more than that and they would just be getting in each others way.

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why was the jewish man so sad because his family was killed in a bus accident and he severed his spine and cant walk ever again and his insurance couldunt pay for the bill so he is now bankrupt so he borrowed from the mafia and now owes them 100,000 in a year or they will cut off his fingers and gauge out his eyes

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dylan hodge wishes he could suck his own **** jokes thats what his mothers for

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Your mom is so nce that when you got into college she taught you to be more independent so you could succeed later in life.

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What do you call a woman that is on her period? -A girl that is expirencing a difficult to control flow of blood through the clitorus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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