A jew walks into a bar. The bartender says we dont sell juice here. The jew promptly leaves, offended.

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Why did the guy playing Monopoly sell Boardwalk for $100 to the woman wearing an exotic outfit which shows off her boobs but wouldn't sell Boardwalk for $1000 to the other person that was playing the game? The other person had Park Place as well which would have given them a monopoly on the blue property if he had sold it to that person. And $100 is all the girl had or he would have asked for more but he needed the $100 in order to pay this other player and keep himself from going bankrupt after landing on one of his Hotels.

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My did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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I was just thinking in something I swear ... I am still Just, wait, i'll be good

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what is similar between a turtle losing its shell, and a man selling his chlothes and house? they are now both naked and homeless

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck had AIDS?

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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Q: Why couldn't the man get laid? A: Women were afraid of his 7 testes and 4 penises.

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why was the 6 afraid of the 7? because 7 was a registered 6 offender.

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We just got a letter We just got a letter We just got a letter I wonder who it's from Oh look, it's a letter from our friends If there is a place you got to go I am the one you need to know I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! If there is a place you got to get I can get you there I bet I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map!

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Man comes home and sees another dying man lying in the center of his house. He yells at the man, "HEY I DONT KNOW YOU" The man on the floor replies, "That's funny, my family used to say the same thing"

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... a man has made himself a poop sandwich , refused to eat it and threw it away because it disgusted him ....

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i should have been sad when my flashlight died.... but i was delighted.

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What makes the turtle move? It's legs.

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Why did the man get in a car accident? Because he was blind.

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What's red, green and smells like crap? Green and red crap.

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What did the amputee get for Christmas? Shot.

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Why did the little boy rush downstairs to the living room on Christmas morning? because he heard his mother screaming rape.

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Why did the hooker cross the road? Because was a prostitute

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How do you confuse a blonde? Ask her a very challenging question.

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what do you call one black man surrounded by ten white men.... A story teller

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Q. Why dont people like shane murchan ? A. Because he wears chinos .....

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Why are black people afraid of chainsaws? Because chainsaws are powerful machines, capable of dismemberment and death when wielded by someone who wishes to cause harm

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What is the first letter of the alphabet? A. a B. 7 C. Mustard gas D. Because a penguin has 2 legs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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