What is black and hangs on a rope next to a rebel flag in my back yard? A tire swing for my redneck kids to swing on.

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles

Where do penguins keep their money? No where. Penguins don't have a money economy

Why do women go to the bathroom together? To clean their filthy pussies.

why didn't the baby cry once it came out of the womb? because it was a stillborn.

If a tree falls on a woman and there is no one around to hear it, chocolate milk.

Whats worst than getting bombed by the russians? The holocaust!

What's worse than beating a dead horse? Nothing. Beating a horse is just too much fun

What did the Coke can say to the Pepsi can? Nothing it is a inanimate object and cannot speak.

do you know what was a good idea? not last night

What do you call your mom after she brings a guy home from a bar? A very caring woman because she doesn't want him driving drunk.

What happened when the Arabic man went through airport security? He was racially profiled and stopped, delaying not only him but the line of people behind him.

old spice body spay is so powerfull it can block BO for 16 hours. its so powerfull it can turn of the sun, but then it gets to cold, so it makes another sun........DOUBLE SUN POWWWWWEEEERRRRRRR!!!

Whats a frogs favorite year? 2009!

Q: What did the horse say to the other horse? A: Nothing, Horses are incapable of making verbal communication therefore they cant speak to each other.

vote this down and i will DOX you

Three women are seen walking while having ice cream. One of them is licking the ice cream. Another is sucking the ice cream, and the other one is biting the ice cream. One of these women is married. Which one is married? The one that has a wedding ring on her finger.

Q What did Stevens mum say when he asked to be an astronaut A no your heads too big

Send creepy emails to this email address: matt.harrington@highlandcatholic.org

someone says they've been "dying laughing"... no they haven't; they're quite capable of still breathing and functioning in every day life.

Why did David Hasselhoff talk to his car? Because it was KIT from knight Rider and had voice recognition software and so could understand him

Why did the boy fall off his bike? Prior to this incident he was being chased by a psychopathec killer who had just murdered his family. As he was escaping on his bike, the murder's lookout who was holding a shotgun, swung the butt end of the gun, causing severe brain damage and eventually death to the escaping boy, also causing him to topple over on his bycicle.

What did the fish say when he hit the wall? A. Dam B. He Charlie I found the wall C. Both Well he didn't say both but he could have said A or B but it wouldn't make sense for him to say both.

Which came first the chicken or the egg? The egg because if a chicken came first then that means chickens magically appeared. Eggs however may change over time through evolution by a common ancestor because after millions of years of hatching, it slowly mutated by natural selection and became to what is now known as the domestic chicken. (Applause)

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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