How do you get a baby out of the blender? Pour it

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Q: Why was the american flag red, white, and blue? A:Because that's how it is!

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Mum did you make my milkshake? No, I didn't son, but your father did. Fther's dead. I know.

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A hero is nice to everyone, but one person. who is that? Your mom. WOOOOOOOT!! YOU JUST GOT MUSCLEMANED!!!!

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coast of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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what do you call 20 black people under the ocean? a tragic boating accident

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What's the difference between you and a bucket of shit? The bucket and the shit. You're a human being.

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What's the difference between a 7 year old boy and a 50 year old man? Hair.

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What's worse than being raped? Not a whole lot-- rape is a very serious mental and emotional strain that will stick with a person for the remainder of their life.

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A priest, a rabbi, and an imam walk into a bar. Imams do not drink alcohol so this joke has a logical flaw.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He lived a long, full life. Outside of Nantucket. But he visited occasionally.

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What would Muhammed do?

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Q-What do you call a dog with no legs? A-Nothing because he cant come over to you anyway..

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Q:What is yellow and has wheels A: A banana I was joking about the wheels

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Why did the bakery run out of the business? They weren't making enough dough

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Q: Why did Susie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Susie.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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How did the little boy with cancer run in his running race??? Very Well....

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FUCK YOU

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I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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What did the homeless man say to his family? Nothing. His family left him after he lost his job.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm gonna screw you and you don't have a clue !

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Yo mama so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through.

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how do you stop a gang of black people from raping a white woman? throw a basketball

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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